Why Forgiving Yourself For Past Mistakes Is Key To Manifesting Love

Are guilt and shame blocking you from the lasting love you want? The energetic drain of carrying these low-vibration emotions is keeping you stuck in the past. To release yourself from these chains that close off your heart you’ll want to learn how to forgive yourself and open the flow of love to your heart. Forgiving yourself frees you from past mistakes, allowing you to risk your heart. It’s the key to manifesting love in the future.

Forgiving yourself may seem difficult, especially if you have a high expectation of yourself, however it can be one of the most worthwhile endeavors that pays off with having a better relationship with yourself. A journey of self-discovery and growth will lead you to a more fulfilling life, being happy as well as creating healthy relationships, and opening your heart to find an ideal match to share your life with.

It’s unrealistic to think that you’ll never make mistakes, and carrying around regret wishing and hoping you would’ve done things differently only creates misery. When a relationship doesn’t last your mind will want to go over all the plot points and analyze your behavior. This can wreak havoc on your self-esteem. Forgiving yourself for bad behavior is essential to heal your heart and move on to fall in love again with someone better suited for you.

No matter the mistakes you’ve made you’re still worthy of long-lasting love! Here are some ways to forgive yourself for past mistakes so you can release the past and let love in again.

Be Kind And Compassionate With Yourself

Being critical of yourself for any mistakes you’ve made isn’t kind or helpful. Self-judgment creates a feeling of isolation and won’t allow you to connect with other people. Eventually, you’ll feel alienated and lonely, or worse, you judge everyone around you which leads to further detachment. This downward spiral can make you believe you are unlovable. This is not at all true!

Forgiving yourself requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. You can’t expect anyone else to give you the benefit of the doubt if you can’t be kind and loving with yourself first and foremost.

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d offer a friend who has made mistakes. Having integrity doesn’t mean you never make a mistake. Having integrity is more about how you behave when you do misbehave. Remember that everyone is imperfect, and making mistakes is a natural part of the human experience.

Forgiving Yourself Means Accepting Your Flaws

It’s inevitable that you’ll make mistakes in your relationships. You may upset the one you love, you may disappoint them, and you may behave badly. You are human after all. Accepting your humanness doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up or continue to punish yourself for being imperfect. There’s no such thing as a perfect person, so release the unrealistic expectation that you’ll become a superhero and be okay with just being you.

Here’s how to forgive yourself — love and accept yourself for ALL the parts of you – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Feeling guilt and shame for your past indiscretions doesn’t make you a good person. It only keeps you stuck. Feeling guilty because your actions didn’t measure up to your unrealistic expectations won’t make things better, it only holds you back and weighs you down.

The truth is you did the best you could with the resources you had at the time. Just because you made some bad choices or behaved badly doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing better.

Forgiving yourself requires you to accept your humanness and let your best be good enough. That way when you are partnered in the future, you can let that person’s best be good enough. Practicing forgiveness with yourself prepares you for allowing another imperfect person into your life — a romantic partner!

Forgiving Yourself Frees You From Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a form of self-judgment. When you judge yourself you make it difficult to accept other’s flaws. If you can’t accept your mistakes then you’ll have trouble accepting your partner’s errors making lasting love impossible.

You love someone for their imperfections – their crooked smile, or goofy laugh. Keeping an unrealistic expectation that you’ll behave perfectly sets you up to be disappointed again and again.

Perfectionism is a form of all-or-nothing thinking. Not everything has to be perfect or a failure. Embrace the gray areas and recognize that there can be success and growth in the middle ground.

Holding onto guilt or shame about past mistakes causes problems in every single relationship so it’s important for you to find a way to love yourself as is – flaws, mistakes, and all!

How to forgive yourself for past mistakes? Accept that you’ll always be a work in progress and leave space for improvement. Acknowledging your mistakes, accepting your humanity, and making a sincere effort to change is the best you can do.

No matter who you partner up with neither of you will be perfect. You’ll both make mistakes and you’ll make up, make amends, and your love will grow deeper over time.

Forgiving Yourself Is A Choice

You won’t wake up one day and magically feel better about yourself. Nor will someone come along and love you so much that you stop judging and criticizing yourself. Ultimately, forgiveness is a choice, and only you can make the decision to forgive yourself and move on.

Want to know how to forgive yourself? Decide today that you’re not going to continue feeling badly about yourself.

You are the common denominator in your relationships because you’re the one constant in all your romantic situations. So no one else can do this work for you, and by taking responsibility for your behavior — even your mistakes — you’ll start to feel better about yourself.

Taking responsibility may seem scary, but it’s the only way to forgive yourself so you can put the past behind you. The only things you need to claim are your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Be sure you don’t take responsibility for your partner’s behavior, that’s on them.

This boundary is important so you know how to forgive yourself, but not take on things that aren’t yours to begin with. Any person you partner with must be able to take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Forgiving Yourself Nurtures Learning And Growth

If a baby falls while learning how to walk, they don’t just give up because they failed. They get back up and try again. And yet when you’re an adult you don’t give yourself the same leeway. There’s an unrealistic expectation that you won’t make mistakes, and if you do then you’re critical and judge yourself for having done so. Imagine if a baby was criticized every time they fell down while learning to walk?

There’s no reverse in this life, you can’t go back and change the past. There’s no time machine that will allow you to go back and change your behavior. You can, however, learn from the past so you aren’t doomed to repeat it.

Forgiving yourself will change how you view that earlier version of yourself, and will drain the emotional energy of guilt, shame, and regret from those past events. Healing those feelings of regret will allow you to make better choices now and in the future.

Here’s how to forgive yourself — treat your mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Rather than analyze your choices and your behavior just let it go and plan to do better next time.

Forgiving Yourself Releases The Energetic Bonds To The Past

If you’re stuck in the past you won’t find love in the present. Imagine that there are strings and ropes of energy connecting you to past events. This energetic connection is holding you back from moving forward in your life.

Your connection to rerunning these events over and over in your mind has kept you stuck. Forgiving yourself is the key to breaking these ties so that you can make better choices in the present and move freely into the future. By releasing the negative emotions from past experiences you’re paving the way to feel better about yourself.

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? By cutting the ties to the negative feelings from past events. Releasing yourself from regret will open a whole new world of opportunity for you to have new experiences.

Forgiving Yourself Frees Your Heart To Love Again

Carrying guilt and shame over past mistakes burdens your heart closing it off from new experiences. It affects your energy as you move through the world like a dark cloud.

Forgiving yourself and putting the past behind you allows you to free your heart to love again. A free heart is filled with grace — it’s open, optimistic, and ready to love again.

If you don’t take time to heal and forgive yourself for past mistakes, then you could easily end up stuck in a rebound relationship. A rebound relationship is like a band-aid over a gaping wound. The wound doesn’t heal and instead, it festers and lingers.

Forgiving yourself is the salve that allows you to love yourself anyway. You want someone to love you unconditionally, so you must do that for yourself first.

Here’s How To Forgive Yourself So You Can Manifest Love

  1. Acknowledge Your Mistakes And Vow To Do Better Next Time

Journal about the past experiences that still haunt you. See if you can discover what those situations showed up to teach you. Life is always presenting you with situations where you can either step into your higher self or fall back into your conditioned behavior.

What were those situations asking of you?

How could you have behaved differently?

When you can answer these questions without judgment then write a letter to that version of yourself, the one that made those errors. Express gratitude for the opportunity to learn, grow and become a better person. Promise to love and accept yourself no matter what moving forward. Shower that version of yourself with love and approval. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

  1. Come Back Into Integrity With Yourself

Coming back into integrity with yourself is one of the most powerful results of forgiving yourself. Judging yourself automatically means you’re out of integrity with yourself. You’re out of touch with your lovability and your own humanity.

Forgiving yourself and your past mistakes gives you a sense of feeling whole and complete which then makes you more available to connect with others.

Self-sabotage and destructive behaviors can manifest when you’re out of integrity with yourself. Here’s a crash course in self-forgiveness. This practice taught in the Hawaiian tradition of Ho’oponopono is the best way to start and it’s easy to do:

  1. Place your hands over your heart.
  2. Visualize the earlier version of yourself that made those mistakes.
  3. Repeat these phrases as you expand the love you feel inside of you:

“I’m sorry.”

“Please forgive me.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you.”

  1. Repeat for 5-10 minutes.
  2. Practice twice daily.

Do this first thing in the morning and last thing before you go to bed for a minimum of 21 days, and you’ll experience an inner transformation about your past mistakes. Forgiving yourself puts you back into integrity with yourself.

Once you’re connected to yourself you can choose others to connect with as well. Selecting a life partner requires discernment and you’ll be much better suited to make the selection from this inner foundation of love and acceptance.

  1. Move Forward On Your Path To Lasting Love

Integrate the lessons you’ve learned and your personal growth into your dating strategies. Instead of rushing into exclusivity the next time you feel chemistry or attraction, practice slow love. Take your time and leave space for someone to reveal who they are and what their intentions are.

Practice speaking how you feel and making requests. Don’t shy away from conflict. It’s a great opportunity to discover if you can navigate your differences.

Take responsibility when you behave badly. Apologize and vow to do better. Make amends if necessary. These practices will reward you in all your relationships.

Forgiving yourself allows you to release the baggage from your past relationships and start with a clean slate moving forward. Now, you’re ready to start manifesting love in a whole new way.

If you’re struggling to let go of the past or feel blocked in your search for love, join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. We’ll help you create a custom plan for releasing the past and creating the lasting love you desire and deserve.

About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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