7 Ways That Being A Cynical Person Is Keeping You Single

It’s been said that inside every cynical person is a disappointed romantic. It’s okay to be suspect if you have reason to be, however, what if that cynicism is keeping you single?

Everyone has had disappointments in life. Not every relationship works out the way you’d hoped, but that doesn’t mean that you have to build a fortress around your heart, close off your heart, and become a cynical person.

If you’re a disappointed romantic and find it difficult to reconcile the desire to share your life with someone special, along with the regrets and frustrations that have broken your heart then it’s time to take a look at how this self-fulfilling prophecy is keeping you from the one thing you desire most of all – long-lasting love with an ideal partner.

You may not like the label of being called a cynical person, so perhaps you’re just cynical about the opposite sex or about romantic love. Well, that cynicism is also keeping you single.

Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world — it only sucks when your heart desires to share life’s ups and downs with that one special person who sticks by you no matter what.

Did you roll your eyes just now reading that? Or unleash a heavy sigh? Are you contemplating closing this page so you can go on pretending you don’t ache for a beloved?

It doesn’t matter your age or your circumstances; when it comes to love you can always start again. This doesn’t mean you won’t go through cynical periods in your life, however, you don’t want to be defined as a cynical person because your cynicism is ultimately keeping you from the long-lasting love you desire and deserve.

You may secretly be hoping that your Mr. or Mrs. Right will come along and melt the walls around your heart, but let’s get real, that’s not going to happen. That would be the equivalent of being a princess locked in a tower expecting the handsome prince to cross the alligator filled moat and scale the walls to free you from the castle tower.

Let’s bring you back into the modern world to see how your cynicism is keeping you stuck and frustrated with your love life.

7 Ways That Being A Cynical Person Is Keeping You Single

  1. A Cynical Person is Closed Off To New Experiences

As a cynic, you’ll be less likely to meet new people because you’re not open to new experiences. Meeting new people is essential in the dating process and sometimes just breaking out of your routine is required.

When you’re cynical you find yourself saying “No” to new experiences.

Why go to that party if you’re not going to meet anyone worth talking to? Thinking you’d better avoid online dating and dating apps. They’re full of fake people and scammers, right? It’s better to just stay home and binge another TV show, that way if you’re disappointed with the show you can move on and find something else to distract your aching heart.

It’s been long said that if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. If lasting love has eluded you thus far, staying open to new experiences is essential.

It’ll take effort to break out of your old patterns. The key is to take a risk but keep your expectations simple. You’re not going to meet your soulmate the first week you download Bumble. It’s going to take a little time, and you’re going to need to upgrade your dating strategies.

But if you don’t want to spend your life as a cynical person, then the effort will have been worth it.

  1. A Cynical Person Is Jaded Against The Opposite Sex

Do you ever find yourself making blanket statements about men as if all men or women are basically the same? Maybe you spend time with your friends sharing your dating horror stories, convincing each other that it’s all just a waste of time.

A cynical person is suspicious and jaded against the opposite sex. If you think that all men only want sex, or all women are looking for a free meal then you’re just creating limiting beliefs that are keeping you single.

Don’t judge all members of the opposite sex just because you’ve met a few losers. A good man or a good woman is not a unicorn so stop expecting that you have to meet a mythical creature to find lasting love. Instead, take note of positive qualities that the people you meet have. Realize that most people don’t have a dating coach and are using dating strategies they learned when they were just teenagers.

This doesn’t mean that you excuse bad behavior, or give a stranger the benefit of the doubt. It means that you approach dating with an open heart and an open mind, curious to meet a new person. Keeping your expectations in check and allowing yourself to discover this new person.

As you age it makes sense that the shiny finish of idealism will wear off, or crack. Don’t put your heart on the line with every person that comes by. Instead, you must utilize discernment to decide whether or not to be open, rather than being suspicious of an entire gender.

  1. A Cynical Person Can Never Be Satisfied

Part of the joy of romantic love is feeling a deep emotional connection to another person. The cynic is incapable of this experience because they can never be satisfied.

If you have a list of criteria that no person can live up to, then you won’t meet anyone worth dating. Finding fault with every person you go out with is an excellent strategy for never having to risk your heart.

Just because you don’t see everything you’re looking for in someone’s profile or they list a hobby you don’t enjoy, doesn’t mean that you can’t create a connection with them or share coffee for a first meet. You aren’t looking for an opposite-sex version of yourself, nor are you looking for someone who embodies some unattainable list you’ve created.

You’re looking for someone who you’re attracted to who shares your values. Someone willing to do what it takes to make a relationship work. There are plenty of people who fit this description. Letting your guard down so you can meet them is essential.

Plus, someone who is interested in a relationship with you will want to you be interested in them as well. If you can’t be satisfied, then no one will ever satisfy you.

  1. A Cynical Person Is Focused On What They Don’t Want

You can’t create the opposite of what you don’t want. Manifesting 101 teaches that you have to get clear on what you really want and what inspires you.

If you are feeling cynical about love it’ll be difficult to know what inspires you.

Knowing what you don’t want keeps your focus on the negative and only draws in more of what you dislike. Certainly, you want to avoid dating addicts or narcissists and probably should know the warning signs if this is an issue for you.

Putting your attention on what you want to avoid forces you to focus on what you don’t want. The more emotional energy you put towards avoiding certain types of people, the more you’ll fixate on those types of people. What you focus on grows, so don’t put your attention toward avoiding the pain of the past.

Think about the people you know who are always focused on the negative. Are they happy? Are they successful? Success in life and love requires that you put your energy toward what inspires you and brings you joy.

  1. A Cynical Person Pushes Away Positive People And Positive Experiences

Openness and curiosity are attractive qualities. When you are feeling cynical you aren’t open or curious. Instead, you’re stuck in judgment and skepticism.

You can’t enjoy yourself when you’re stuck in judgment. And you’re certainly not very fun to be around. The truth is all judgment is self-judgment. And when you’re cynical about love, you’re actually judging your inability to make love last.

Open to compassion for yourself and the fact that you’ve had disappointments in love. Allow yourself to grieve the past and learn to let it go. Using your past disappointments as proof that love isn’t in the cards for you creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Embrace a little positivity. Look for the good that exists around you. Put your focus on couples who are happy so that you can rekindle your hope. Allow their love to be proof for you that love is possible for you too.

  1. A Cynical Person Is Unable To Be Sincere

Sarcasm is the language of cynics – and sincerity is the language of lovers. Sarcasm and joking allow you to speak your truth while hiding under the cover of a “joke” when your truth is rejected.

Intimacy requires sincerity and authenticity. That’s how you connect to another human being. When you’re being sarcastic, you can’t connect with others. You won’t feel seen or understood. Instead, you’ll set yourself apart from others and feel even more disconnected.

To feel seen, understood, and ultimately accepted by another person you’ll need to speak your authentic truth. When you’re authentic and that person responds in kind then you’ve created a true connection. This is the real intimacy that the romantic in you desires, and there is no better feeling in this life.

  1. A Cynical Person Is Trying To Protect Their Heart

Ultimately cynicism is a strategy for protecting yourself from further disappointment. You’re attempting to cover the hurt that things haven’t worked out the way you’d hoped. And while your heart may be protected from feeling any further disappointment, you’re also preventing yourself from experiencing love and connection with another person.

Love requires that you open your heart and take a risk. You may experience more setbacks on your journey to love, but these are temporary. Just because it hasn’t worked out for you doesn’t mean that you’re cursed. It just means that you need a new approach to love and perhaps some support to shed your limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck.

You can’t protect yourself from heartache, but you can set yourself up for success. If you are interested in exploring a new way to create the love you want, then join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Call. We’ll share how you can approach love with a whole new strategy that actually has proven results.

About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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