Wonder why lasting love is elusive for you? Confused about what’s blocking love in your life? It may feel like you’re cursed, but the truth is your love blocks are inside of you and you can rewire your brain for love.
Rewiring your brain, or neuroplasticity is the ability to rewire neurological connections and form new neural pathways in response to new stimuli. Let’s put that in layman’s terms: You don’t have to stay stuck in your old habits; it’s a natural process to change your behavior. The first step is to interrupt the old habit pattern and replace it with one that’s more useful and moves you toward your goal.
The great news is that the ability to rewire your brain isn’t dependent on your age! You can overcome your love blocks and learn a new approach to love no matter how old you are.
Where Do Your Love Blocks Come From?
While it’s unlikely that karma or fate are blocking you from love, your strategies for giving and receiving love probably are.
The 13th Century Sufi poet Rumi spells out very simply what’s truly blocking love from your life in this poem: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
You developed love blocks early on in your life long before you knew who you were, or how the world works. In your family of origin, you learned that love is conditional in some way, and you had to take on specific strategies to feel loved and safe.
You also developed love blocks when you experienced heartbreak or loss. To avoid pain you took on strategies to protect yourself, and you’ve also taken on limiting beliefs about love.
All these decisions are getting in your way of finding and keeping love, thus blocking love from you. Don’t let the younger version of you and your limited understanding of love be the reason that you continue to go without a great love relationship. You can rewire your brain for love.
7 Hacks To Rewire Your Brain So You Stop Blocking Love From Your Life
Rewire Your Brain By Focusing On the Positive
Your inner dialog is one of your biggest blocks to love. Constantly affirming how hard it is to find love leaves you feeling powerless in your love life. Telling yourself things like,
“It’s just not meant to be.”
“I can’t find the love I want.”
“No one I know is in a happy relationship.”
These thoughts will leave you feeling frustrated, anxious, and hopeless about your prospects. To change your experiences — change your inner dialog!
You’re constantly affirming your reality by speaking to yourself. Notice what you’re saying to yourself about yourself and change those negative thoughts to positive ones.
This doesn’t mean sitting by yourself all day speaking positively to yourself will remove all your love blocks and your beloved will knock on your door one day. You’ll still have to take action, and when you do you’ll already be in the mindset to create new opportunities because you’ve been thinking positively.
Feeling good about yourself right now can be as easy as identifying your negative self-talk and replacing it with positive affirmations.
It’s your thoughts that trigger your feelings. So keeping your thoughts focused on the positive will rewire your brain to find more chances for love.
Rewire Your Brain By Focusing On Your Success
Dwelling on past mistakes will leave you feeling like a failure in love. Focusing on all the things you haven’t achieved yet will drain your vigor and motivation. These energy drains are blocking love from you and sucking your life force — it’s time for a change!
You can’t make any positive changes in your life if you feel like a failure, instead, put gas in your tank and rewire your brain by concentrating on your achievements.
Categorize your successes into lifetime achievements and daily accomplishments. Creating a list of your lifetime achievements builds your confidence and your ability to make things happen. Recording your daily successes allows you to end your day feeling good about yourself instead of lying in bed thinking of everything you need to do tomorrow.
Every person has suffered setbacks and heartache, it’s a natural progression of life, a rite of passage. You don’t have to let your disappointments hold you back, they’re just speed bumps on your journey. Focus on your good intentions, and your desire to share your life with someone and you’ll create more possibilities for lasting love.
Rewire Your Brain By Connecting To Your Inner Child
You may have a block to love because you’re disconnected from your inner child. When you were a child you had experiences that were beyond your understanding. You didn’t know why your parents couldn’t love you the way you desired to be loved, you just felt like something was wrong with you because they couldn’t understand your needs.
This childhood wounding caused you to disconnect from parts of yourself and you probably haven’t made the effort to reconnect to your younger self to make her feel loved and safe in the world. The little child inside of you can be blocking love by constantly sabotaging your attempts at love.
How do you know that your inner child is blocking love from you?
- You sabotage good relationships.
- You seek validation for your feelings from others.
- You don’t trust your intuition.
- You abandon your needs and wants.
- You select a similar mismatch for a relationship over and over again.
It’s time to rewire your brain by reconnecting with your inner child so that she knows she can trust you and won’t sabotage your love life. The quickest hack to rewire your brain is to start going on Inner Child Dates™ so that you can transform your relationship with her (and therefore yourself).
Rewire Your Brain By Practicing Receiving
In today’s world where men and women are equals, receiving can feel like admitting that you’re not capable of taking care of yourself. You don’t want help with your luggage in and out of the overhead bin on an airplane, or help putting your coat on after a manicure.
You’ve justified not allowing yourself to simply receive a compliment, help, or verbal support because you’re just as competent (if not more competent) than the men you meet.
Being unable to receive is blocking love because it ignores the fact that humans are social creatures who need each other and rely on one another. No one thrives in life alone.
Saying, “Yes!” to all the offers of support and help that are offered to you now, will be great practice for receiving from the man you would like to have in your life.
Receive compliments from strangers by saying “Thank You!” (and resist the urge to reciprocate). Allow someone to get your door or carry your bags. Say, “Yes” to an offer of help.
If you want to remove what is blocking love from you, open up to receive and accept all forms of support!
Rewire Your Brain By Making Fear Your Friend
Fear is one of the most common blocks to love. This applies to emotional fears, if there’s a risk of physical danger, then fear is present for your survival. However, emotional fears are nothing more than paper tigers blocking love from you.
If you’ve never experienced healthy, lasting love then that kind of relationship is unfamiliar to you and therefore can feel a little scary. Stepping toward your fears, instead of trying to avoid them frees you from your love blocks. To create the love you desire you must step towards the unfamiliar even if it feels scary.
There’s no chance of physical danger when you step towards your emotional fears. You won’t bleed. You won’t need to go to the hospital or require a bandage. You won’t even break a nail.
Fear is only blocking love from you if you let it. Breaking free of the status quo may feel scary and uncomfortable however, comfort is overrated.
Stepping towards your fear takes courage and commitment. Rewire your brain by taking an action that says, “I count, and I matter. My needs and desires are worth fighting for.” Standing up for yourself will free your energy and create opportunities for positive change in every part of your life.
Rewire Your Brain With Laughter
You’re blocking love by dwelling on negative events. Don’t get trapped by re-living bad things in your mind. Instead, you can rewire your brain through a simple but effective laughter exercise.
Re-tell the details of a hurtful event and laugh while doing it. This will rewire the emotional response to the event.
This technique will lighten your spirits and rewire your emotional response to painful events you’ve experienced. Emotions trigger chemicals in your brain that flood the body and faking an emotion has the exact same effect. So faking laughter floods your body with feel-good chemicals and rewires your emotional response.
It might be difficult to imagine yourself laughing about something serious or traumatic, however, fake laughing will give you all the benefits of real laughter so get ready to fake it until you make it!
3 sounds make up laughter: Ho, Ha, and He. Vocalizing them 3 at a time will give you an easy way to start. Place your hands on your lower belly, take a deep breath, and then begin to fake laugh: “Ho! Ho! Ho!” “Ha! Ha! Ha!” “He! He! He!”
Very quickly you’ll actually be laughing. Laughter is infectious and contagious. Once you have a good laugh going re-tell the upsetting story of what happened out loud while laughing hysterically.
Just like learning to do anything new, this may take some getting used to, and practice makes perfect. Asking a friend to help makes this exercise easier and more fun.
Tell your wounding stories like they are the most hilarious events you can think of. Be sure to have your friend laugh with you and we promise that those events will no longer haunt you or be blocking love from you.
Rewire Your Brain With Gratitude
Want to stop blocking love for good? Create a practice of gratitude.
A gratitude practice is the number one way to rewire your brain for love. Gratitude for everything you have opens the door to manifesting all the things you desire — even love!
Look for reasons to be grateful in your daily life by keeping a nightly gratitude journal. Write down five things you’re grateful for at the end of the day and you’ll fall asleep with a smile on your face.
It’s important to practice gratitude right before going to bed as you’ll take these suggestions into your sleep, and your dreams, and integrate a feeling of gratitude into your subconscious mind.
See if you can find gratitude for your past relationships, including all the ones that really hurt you. Discover how those painful experiences motivated you to grow and make changes in your life will help you find gratitude from past relationships.
Happy, grateful people are more fun to be around and are more attractive. Your old habits of thinking and outdated strategies are blocking love from you whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Just like gravity, you can’t see it, but it’s there keeping you from floating off into space.
Expressing gratitude for what you have feeds your soul and creates space for better situations to flow into your life.
You can rewire your brain in as little as 40 days by committing to the suggestions here. The key is to be consistent, so pick one or more and commit to doing it every single day (if you miss a day you have to start back at one and begin again).
These 7 hacks will transform your blocks to love and rewire your brain for long-lasting love over time. If you’d like to speed up the process just like everything you want to learn in life get guidance, a coach, a guide and you can see if we’re a fit by scheduling a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Call with us by clicking here.