25 Limiting Beliefs That Interfere With Finding True Love (Plus How To Turn Them Around)

Are your limiting beliefs about love and relationship interfering in your search for lasting love? Limiting beliefs like:

“Dating is hard.”

“Love doesn’t last.”

“True love is just a fantasy.”

Limiting beliefs get in the way of staying positive and motivated about love and dating and deflate your resiliency in love. They create self-sabotage and stop you from reaching your goal. Ultimately, they leave you feeling hopeless and frustrated about the possibility of ever finding “The One.”

The truth about love is that it’s always available to you. Love can be easy while at the same time requiring effort to bring it in and make it last. Long-lasting love with your soulmate can be one of the most satisfying and fulfilling accomplishments in your life, it’s no different than working toward higher education or a fulfilling career — no matter the effort it will be worth it.

One of the most deceptive limiting beliefs about love is that it will happen when you least expect it. The belief that love just happens or doesn’t happen can leave you feeling powerless against a fate that is beyond your control.

Love is not some outside force that is beyond your control or your free will choice. Creating a lasting loving partnership works the same way as accomplishing any goal you may have. You’ll need to be educated, develop the skills you need to achieve your goal and practice them, and then take actions toward your goal.

If your beliefs about love oppose your desire to create love, then your limiting beliefs are blocks to love. Your insidious limiting beliefs give you the impression it’s impossible or improbable that you’ll ever find the lasting love you desire.

In order to reclaim your power identify your limiting beliefs about love and dating, and  only then you can begin the process of transforming them.

25 Limiting Beliefs That Interfere With Finding True Love

(feel free to add your unique limiting beliefs to this list)

  1. I’m not worthy of love.
  2. I will be abandoned/left behind.
  3. I have to sacrifice for love.
  4. I can’t trust my partner.
  5. I just need to find the “right” person.
  6. Love will be easy with the “right” person.
  7. There is no one to date where I live.
  8. I’m too old for love.
  9. Only lucky people find love.
  10. Love isn’t meant to be for me.
  11. I’m too ________ to be loved.
  12. I’m too needy for love.
  13. I have to sacrifice my freedom to get love.
  14. I can’t get what I want.
  15. The problem is men/women.
  16. I’m only attracted to unavailable partners.
  17. I’ll never find The One.
  18. I’m afraid of being rejected.
  19. I’m too picky.
  20. No one understands me/likes me.
  21. I’m hopeless and can’t find love.
  22. I’m too broken for love.
  23. I’m afraid of being co-dependent.
  24. Online dating doesn’t work for me.
  25. I’ll never get over my last love.

Get In The Driver’s Seat Before You Can Drive The Car

It’s impossible to change a problem you’re unable to recognize. Your struggles to create lasting love won’t just magically disappear when you meet a mystical “right” person. Your desire for love must be stronger than the attachment to your limiting beliefs.

Making an effort to identify your limiting beliefs allows you to be in the driver’s seat to change them. Just like getting into the driver’s seat of a car, you haven’t driven anywhere yet. The seat of awareness is the same thing. It puts you in the driver’s seat to create the changes you desire.

Now that you’ve identified your list of limiting beliefs, you’ve put yourself in the driver’s seat to make changes.

Rev your engines and get ready to go…

Beliefs Come From Your Past Experiences

Your core beliefs about love were formed in your early childhood. The experiences you’ve had with love as an adult have added color to your beliefs, but it’s your interpretation and meaning you assigned to the events in your family of origin that established the foundation of how you view romantic relationships.

Just like you learned to walk and talk in your family of origin, you also learned about love and relationships.

You could say that your beliefs shape your experiences. For example, if you believe that you aren’t worthy of love you’ll find yourself attracted to people who don’t value you. You’ll also reject love from someone who thinks you’re amazing as it won’t fit with your internal narrative of what you believe to be true about you.

It’s your emotional attachment to those childhood beliefs that keep you stuck in a cyclical negative pattern. You can’t change the events of the past, but it’s possible to change the meaning that you assigned to them.

Changing the meaning of your past experiences will turn apathy into hope allowing you to feel more resourceful about love and dating. Imagine busting through your limiting beliefs so you feel excited to date and discover about yourself through the dating process!

Your Past Doesn’t Equal Your Future

If you’re looking at your past experiences for clues about your future, you run the risk of repeating the past over and over again. For example, if you dated someone who cheated on you doesn’t mean that you are destined to only date cheaters in the future.

You can change your negative patterns and create a new future for yourself once you overcome your limiting beliefs. Now that you’ve identified the patterns from your past you can adjust your beliefs by acting As If your new beliefs are true. By taking actions that are in alignment with your new beliefs (ones that are in alignment with your desires) you can create long-lasting love with an ideal partner!

Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

If you one of your limiting beliefs shows up again don’t allow it to rule your life. Challenge it. Question it. Cancel it. And most importantly affirm what you want to believe instead.

Whether or not you believe in affirmations, you are affirming your reality all day long with your inner dialog. Whether you say to yourself, “All the good ones are taken,” or you say, “Love comes to me easily and effortlessly;” you’ll discover that your experiences reflect your inner dialog along with your beliefs.

If you catch yourself affirming a limiting belief stop yourself and say to aloud, “Cancel! Cancel!, Cancel!” Then immediately replace that thought with a more empowering one of your choosing.

Affirm your new belief by repeating it to yourself as you’re doing any mundane task. When you’re working out, doing the dishes, or cleaning your home, repeat a simple phrase like, “I am worth loving.” By linking your affirmation to a daily activity, you’ll anchor it into your subconscious and begin to habitually say it so it runs on auto-pilot.

Look For Evidence Of Love All Around You

Your brain will automatically find evidence of your limiting beliefs.

In order to change your beliefs, you have to consciously look for evidence of what you want to create. If you believe that you aren’t attractive enough to be loved, take notice of couples of all shapes and sizes when you’re out in the world.

Say to yourself, “See, if they can find love so can I.” Find proof in the world that there is a lid for every pot.

You can find evidence of anything you want to believe about yourself. Consciously make an effort to notice and celebrate when others in the world find love and remind yourself that it is possible for you too.

Focus On What Inspires You, Not What You Fear

Are you focused on avoiding cheaters or ensuring you won’t feel rejected? When you put your focus on what you fear, you highlight those situations in your mind. In a sense, you’re telling yourself to notice situations where the fear may be realized in order to avoid it.

This brings more experiences of what you do not want. By focusing on your fears you’re helping to recreate them.

Instead, put your focus on what inspires you. This doesn’t mean that you should suddenly become delusional and avoid obvious red flags in potential dates. What it means is that you become focused on your vision of the love you desire.

Having a positive and inspiring vision of love will help keep you motivated when you experience setbacks on your journey. Bumps on the road are normal and to be expected. You don’t want those bumps to derail you from your journey.

Judgment Is At The Root Of Your Limiting Beliefs

When you drill down to the root of all of your limiting beliefs, you’ll find that judgment is at the source of each and every one of them. They’re all examples of either self-judgment or judgment of others.

Judgment is the biggest block to creating lasting love. Judging yourself or someone else creates disconnection. You can’t feel connected to another person when you’re either disconnected from yourself.

Love is based on creating connection. Notice how your voice of judgment gets in the way of you feeling connected to others. It’s not the fault of the outside world that you feel disconnected — that disconnection lives inside of you.

Work to shift judgment so you can be connected to yourself, then it will be easy to connect to others. Creating connection is natural and necessary for everyone, it’s what your soul yearns for.

Compassion Is The Key To Releasing Judgment

Stepping into compassion allows you to release judgment and extend grace to yourself and others. It’s your flaws that ultimately make you lovable. You love someone for their imperfections; it’s their uniqueness that makes them stand out from the crowd.

You will never be perfect, nor will you ever find a perfect partner. You’ll create love with someone who is perfect for you. This person will love the weird quirks and idiosyncrasies that others found fault with.

Loving yourself will open up the ability to receive love from someone else. So many people chase rejection because that’s what they feel inside. You don’t have to prove your lovability. You’re lovable just as you are.

Take Small Steps To Create A Large Change

You won’t be able to transform all your blocks to love all at once. That is the reason most people fail at their New Year’s resolutions. They try to change everything about their life all at once and set themselves up for disappointment.

Set yourself up for success by taking small steps daily. Choose one limiting belief to change and focus on it until it no longer seems true to you. Then choose another belief to change. Chip away at them as if each one is a different muscle you’re developing.

By committing to minor adjustments on a regular basis you’ll quickly discover that you’ve made major changes to your life in just a few short months.

If you’re looking for more specific help on how to change your limiting beliefs about love and dating join us for a Soulmate Strategy Session. During this complimentary call we’ll share the most effective way for you to transform your love patterns.

About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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