Why Dating After Divorce Is An Advantage To Meeting Your Soulmate

After divorce you may be afraid you’ve been out of the dating game too long and feel insecure about dating. Maybe you believe the chances of meeting your soulmate have passed you by. However, if you’ve been mindful through your divorce and have grown from your challenges, dating after divorce can be an advantage to meeting your soulmate.

What you learned from your marriage and divorce makes you ready to do things differently when it comes to love and dating. You’re no longer naïve about life and love and can be more discerning through the dating process so you’ll choose more wisely this time.

This is a huge advantage to meeting your soulmate because you’re not expecting love to happen by accident and have learned that lasting love requires both people to make an effort.

The secret to meeting your soulmate after divorce is using the end of your marriage as a powerful tool for learning and discovery. Just because you didn’t get it right the first time doesn’t mean that you can’t get love right the next time.

Why Dating After Divorce Is An Advantage To Meeting Your Soulmate

  1. Your Expectations Are Realistic

No one gets married thinking it won’t last. The hope of what could be turned out not to be, and you’ve come out the other side. This experience can be a great motivator to do things differently this time.

When you’ve been married before, you’ve released the fantasy that love will just magically work out without any effort. You’ve figured out that your partner doesn’t come with mind-reading powers (and meeting your soulmate won’t change that).

This is a golden opportunity to learn how to select an ideal partner — a soulmate. Your soulmate is the person that gets you, chooses you and is willing to go through life’s challenges alongside you because you both know that you’re better together than apart.

Releasing unrealistic expectations is the key to sharing your life with another person. Hopefully you’re no longer holding onto the expectation that your partner will complete you. Even with your soulmate, you’ll have miscommunication, disagreements, and even fight sometimes. That’s because your soulmate is a completely different person than you with their unique experiences, strategies for dealing with stress, beliefs, and desires. Your soulmate will not complete you, but they will complement you.

Realistic expectations are the gateway to showing up as your authentic self. Now that you’re no longer holding onto the idea that love will just magically happen with a mythical “right” person, you can start evaluating what you would like to do differently so you end up meeting your soulmate — your forever person.

  1. You Get A Fresh Start

Going through a divorce is difficult but now that you’re ready to date again, you have a fresh start. This means that you don’t have to put up with any crap. You get to make the rules for how you want to approach love and no one else gets to dictate to you what is important to you. You can start dating with purpose and this will serve you on the path to meeting your soulmate.

Ultimately, there’s a lid for every pot. When you let your freak flag fly your soulmate can find you. Love requires risk, and when you’re on the other side of a divorce and looking for lasting love, you can more easily risk by sharing your dreams and desires upfront.

Those who aren’t interested in the real authentic you will scamper off leaving only those who are truly interested in a relationship with you. Approach dating this way and the cream will rise to the top — and you’re only going to invest your heart when you’ve found the creamiest match.

  1. You Are More Resilient

Overcoming difficulties helps you grow stronger. Resistance creates resilience. The fact that you’re interested in meeting your soulmate after divorce means you’ve developed a resilient heart.

Emotional strength and resilience come from facing difficult experiences and overcoming them. You’ve gained courage and strength by facing the difficult issues in your life.

Life will always have challenges and divorce is one of the greatest relationship challenges you’ll go through. The internal strength you’ve cultivated gives you the endurance to keep moving toward your goal.

You’ve developed love resiliency because you’ve learned that you can bounce back from heartbreak. Plus developing resilience gives you the fuel to keep hope alive and to continue dating until meeting your soulmate.

  1. You’re Clear On What You Do Not Want

Most people aren’t motivated to create more joy in their lives. Instead, they’re motivated to avoid emotional pain. Post-divorce you can use this to your advantage to meeting your soulmate.

Through your divorce, you’ve become crystal clear on the type of relationship you do not want. Use this clarity to quickly move on when it’s apparent someone is not an ideal match for you.

Instead of wasting time to see if someone will change and become the person you want, you’ve learned that people show you who they really are. This makes it easy for you to spot someone who’s not a match.

Knowing who to deselect through the dating process is just as important as knowing who to select. On the journey to meeting your soulmate, use your desire to make better choices as motivation for creating a new dynamic in your romantic relationships.

  1. You Can Take Responsibility For Your Part

A marriage lasting or failing requires both people’s participation. The hard part is not getting stuck in either blame or guilt. Pointing the finger of blame or taking too much responsibility will only keep you stuck in the past and lingering on what was, instead of meeting your soulmate and starting anew.

You are not 100% responsible for your marriage ending. However, you are 100% responsible for your 50%. Read that again because most of our clients take too much responsibility and going into sacrifice will never allow you to create the lasting love you desire.

Draw a clear boundary so you’re clear on what is your responsibility and what’s not. Keep your side of the street clean by owning your behavior. Stay on your side of the street by not blaming yourself for your ex’s behavior. This way you can focus on what you did or didn’t do to make the marriage work and have a strategy for doing things differently next time.

Own your stuff, but don’t blame yourself for your partner’s failings. Taking responsibility for what truly belongs on your side of the street brings you clarity and can set you free to meet your soulmate.

  1. You’re Ready To Upgrade Your Dating Skills

Dating hasn’t changed, but the tools used to meet people constantly evolve. It can feel intimidating and a bit overwhelming looking through the newest technological options.

Online dating, dating apps, and other technologies are just tools for meeting people. You can try to avoid the apps and hope that you accidentally bump into to love of your life at Starbucks, or you can invest a little bit of time to educate yourself on using these new tools properly.

Also, the dating strategies you used to meet your ex aren’t going to work if you want to meet your soulmate. There’s no point in dating like a teenager, so rather than expecting that meeting your soulmate will happen by accident plan to upgrade your dating strategies even before you go out on one date.

Then through the dating process, you can discover about yourself and practice new communication skills. Just like learning anything new – practice, practice, practice. The dating arena gives you plenty of opportunities.

Slowing things down and dating more people speeds up the process of meeting your soulmate. Never give a stranger the benefit of the doubt. Take your time before jumping into exclusivity and get to know someone before making a commitment.

  1. You Can Create A New Vision For Love

You know you don’t want to repeat your mistakes, but are you aware of what would bring joy to your life? Your ideal relationship isn’t the opposite of what you don’t want.

Create a vision of your soulmate relationship that excites you and motivates you to start dating again. Get clear on the dynamic you desire between the two of you.

Don’t get caught up in unimportant details like height or hobbies. Your heart doesn’t care what color someone’s eyes are or whether they like the same movies you do.

The important thing is to find someone who values the same things as you do. When you share the same values as your partner you can overcome any challenge that comes your way. Moving past your divorce and meeting your soulmate requires that you have a clear vision of the relationship you desire, and whether you can navigate conflict to create a deeper connection.

Chemistry is required, but it shouldn’t be the most important factor. Just because the two of you are hot for each other doesn’t mean you share the same values.

Your vision for love becomes your guide as you navigate dating and the beginning of a new relationship. Your head and your heart must both be satisfied. Meeting your soulmate requires that you practice discernment and choose wisely.

  1. You’re Ready To Risk Your Heart Again

Love doesn’t come with guarantees. None of these steps will protect you from ever being hurt again. But they will give you the tools to keep moving forward into healthier, more loving relationships along the way.

Cynicism and fear are your enemies when it comes to love. They keep your heart closed and prevent anyone from connecting with you. Don’t let fear stop you from opening your heart and taking a risk on love. The biggest risk you can take is to feel hopeful about meeting your soulmate. Hope is the door that opens your heart to love again.

You’re not meant to spend your life alone. Your soul craves connection with a special person. You can certainly be single and happy, but if you want to thrive in life, you’ll want to share your life with the love of your life.

Use your past experiences to become better at your relationships in the present. Sex and procreation are instinctual but long-term monogamous relationships aren’t. They require skills that you weren’t born with, and, likely, your parents didn’t model healthy relationships for you.

With a little effort, you can overcome your past heartbreaks and develop new relationship skills. When you mine your past disappointments to discover the gold that lies within, you may find that your split with your ex was the greatest advantage you could have received for meeting your soulmate.

Are you ready to move on from your divorce and focus on meeting your soulmate but don’t know where to begin? Join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. We’ll help craft your custom plan for meeting your soulmate and put you on the path to the long-lasting you’re looking for.

About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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