9 Signs He Wants A Committed Relationship
Are you worried that soon you’re going to have to have the talk? You know the one, you’ve been dating a while and you’re not sure if you’re on the same page and you’ll need to ask him, “Where is this relationship going?” Are you analyzing his every word and action looking for subtle signs he wants a committed relationship?
Instead, wouldn’t it just be easier if it was obvious, and you didn’t have to anxiously wonder what his intentions are?
Let us ease your mind and your anxious heart – men aren’t subtle about their intentions. Whether he is just looking for something convenient and easy, or whether he wants a committed relationship, his intentions are easy to interpret if you know what to look for.
If you want to steer clear of men who aren’t serious about you, take time to understand men and how they operate. Educate yourself so you know the signs he wants a committed relationship.
A man who wants a relationship with you will give you clear signals about his desires and they won’t be subtle. Look for these common behaviors of a man who wants a commitment and you’ll never have to worry about having “The Talk” again.
9 Signs He Wants A Committed Relationship
He’s Curious About You
A man who wants a relationship with you will want to know all about you, what you like and don’t like. He’ll ask questions about your hobbies and interests. He may ask questions to find out if you are available, or if you find him attractive. He’ll want to know that the water is warm for him to move things forward.
The convenient guy may be charming, but ultimately, he’s looking to charm you. He’s not really curious about you. He may flirt with you, but he’s too busy thinking about himself and getting you to focus on him. Mr. Convenient isn’t looking for anything long-term, he just wants companionship and sex.
A clear sign he wants a committed relationship with you is asking direct questions about what does and doesn’t delight you. He wants to know about you so he can win your heart. He will be hesitant to risk too much if he doesn’t get clear signals from you that you like him.
He Doesn’t Wait Until The Last Minute To Ask You Out
Are you leaving Saturday night open in your calendar because you want to see him, but you don’t know when or if you are going to hear from him? The man who wants a relationship with you will ask you out in advance. He won’t wait until the last minute because he knows you’re a catch, and he wants to claim you before someone else does.
A guy who reaches out at the last minute is only doing what is convenient for him and keeping his options open. Just because he may want your companionship now and then doesn’t mean that he wants a relationship with you. Make sure you’re paying attention to the difference.
One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he is eager to see you again. He’ll make sure that he has a scheduled date to see you and may even ask you outright at the end of a date or soon thereafter. He’ll ask you out early in the week for a prime date night like a Friday or Saturday night.
This is true regardless of how old you are! Whether you’re in your 20’s or your 50’s, this type of behavior is true of all relationship-ready men. Asking you out in advance is not something that used to happen before the internet. It’s a natural male characteristic. A man who really likes you will want to make sure he has a plan to see you again, usually as soon as possible.
He Doesn’t Rush You If You Aren’t Ready
You’ve probably met the guy who comes on strong, buys you flowers for a first date, and then disappears before you even know what happened. One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he may want to claim you right away, but he is also willing to wait for you. He respects your feelings and will make adjustments to accommodate you.
If you’re not ready for exclusivity or physical intimacy he will be fine with you setting the pace of the relationship. The guy who sticks with his agenda and pushes for physical intimacy even if you’re hesitant about moving forward isn’t looking to win you over long-term.
If he’s coming on strong but gets annoyed that you aren’t going along with him, or he tries to convince you to do something you are not ready for, then he isn’t sincere in his affection for you. Set the pace of the relationship and see how he responds. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to tell him, “You’re not ready yet.”
The man who wants a relationship with you will see you as the prize. He will jump at the chance to show you he is worthy of your heart (and your body). He will respect your feelings and wants you to feel comfortable and safe with him.
He Wants You To Be A Part Of His Life
One of the signs he wants a committed relationship with you is that it’s important to him that you meet his friends and family. He will include you in his life and want to show you off to those closest to him.
If he wants to keep you a secret, then he probably has a secret he doesn’t want you to know. It isn’t romantic if no one knows about the two of you. Sneaking around may feel exciting, but it’s not a recipe for lasting love. If you’ve met in the workplace, and you’ve agreed to keep things on the down-low, he will want you to meet important people in his life outside of the office.
Also, pay attention to how he introduces you to people in his life. He may downplay your relationship by introducing you as his “friend” instead of his “girlfriend.” This is a clear sign that he is not sure what he wants and isn’t sure about you and your relationship. If he’s making excuses for why you’re not meeting his friends and family, it’s a red flag showing you that he doesn’t take the relationship seriously.
You’ll know he wants something more when he makes it a priority to introduce you to the important people in his life. Another clear sign he wants a committed relationship with you is when he is excited to be a part of your life and wants to impress your friends and family.
He Pursues You For A Relationship
One of the most obvious signs he wants a committed relationship is that he’s moving the relationship forward. He’s regularly reaching out to you to schedule a date. He texts and calls to see how you’re doing and is genuinely interested in how your day is going. The two of you have a regular routine like speaking on the phone at the end of the day before going to sleep.
A man who follows through on his word is serious about you. If he says he’s going to call, he calls. He doesn’t cancel a date with you at the last minute with a flimsy excuse.
Another sign he wants a committed relationship with you is that he gives you his full attention when you are together. He’s not checking his phone constantly or distracted by other goings-on out in the world when you’re together.
It also won’t matter to him if he has to go out of his way to see you. He’s not going to complain about having to drive an hour to meet you in your part of town. He won’t ask if you’ll meet him around the corner from his office or ask you to take on the burden of coming to see him. A man who wants to impress you may even schedule and pay for a rideshare car, like Lyft or Uber for you to see him.
A man who wants a relationship is clear on the kind of woman he is looking for, so if you fit the bill, he’ll make sure to take you off the market before another man does.
If you desire a committed relationship, don’t waste your energy trying to convince a guy that he should want you. Instead, relax and let the man who wants a committed relationship step up and claim you. In doing this, you will never again have to ask a guy, “Where do you see this going?”
He Sees You In His Future
A man who wants a committed relationship with you will make plans to see you weeks or months in advance. He will ask you to go to a concert or on a trip with him that doesn’t happen for a while. He’ll even ask for your input about where to go and what to do and make adjustments based on your availability.
Mr. Convenient may include you in plans he’s already made, but he won’t go out of his way to create something special for the two of you. He’ll do what’s easy for him and nothing more.
An obvious sign he wants a committed relationship is when he sees you in his future and makes plans for the two of you to do things that are not just within the next week or two.
He Honors Your Requests
One of the signs a man wants a committed relationship is when he does his best to give you what you want. He doesn’t get defensive or make a big deal that you made a request.
Just because a man likes you doesn’t mean he will intuitively know how to please you. He may not automatically open your car door for you, but the man who really digs you will honor your requests as long as they don’t clash with his values.
A guy who isn’t serious may see your requests as being needy or too demanding. He may argue with you and may try to convince you that what you want isn’t important. Some guys will agree to go along, but not make any effort to actually fulfill your requests. This may be an indication of someone who has passive-aggressive tendencies.
Through the dating process go ahead and make requests and see how he responds. You’ll receive a lot of clarity about what his intentions are long-term, and you’ll gain clarity if he is interested in a committed relationship with you.
He Isn’t Afraid Of Your Differences
A man who likes you and wants something lasting with you will make an effort to work through any disagreements between you. There is no perfect man that you won’t have conflict with. There are, however, men who are willing to resolve your differences and work toward a common goal and these are relationship-ready men who are seriously interested in you.
One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that he will be available to talk through the difficult subjects that can come up in a relationship. Your soulmate isn’t a mirror image of you. He will think and feel differently than you. It is your differences that create attraction like magnets – the polar opposites attract. Plus, these differences make you stronger as a couple as you’ll have a variety of strategies to overcome adversity together.
Being able to work through your differences is part of the dance of lasting love.
A guy who is passive-aggressive and avoids conflict, or who is unable to see your side of things isn’t going to be a good match for you in the long run. An emotionally unavailable guy just won’t want to deal with you if it isn’t easy and will bow out.
Don’t shy away from conflict and you’ll discover if he is able to work through your differences with respect.
He Makes Your Happiness A Priority
A man who wants a relationship with you ultimately wants you to be happy. He will be curious about how to please you and what makes you feel good. When you make requests and share your desires, he’ll make adjustments and try his best to honor your requests.
He wants you to be happy because when you’re happy he can relax and be joyful too. One of the signs he wants a committed relationship is that your happiness is a priority for him.
If a guy expects you to make him happy or constantly puts his desires above yours, he isn’t emotionally available for a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t really care about what you want, then he isn’t your guy so just move on.
Notice if the guy you’re dating is striving to discover what makes you happy and doing his best to deliver it to you. This will let you know he sees you and your happiness as a priority in his life.
How To Have The Talk So That It Doesn’t Feel Awkward Or Forced
In order to avoid the dreaded “talk” where you sit him down and ask him, “Where is this relationship going?” be open and clear from the beginning about what is important to you. If you want kids, don’t wait until you’re in an exclusive relationship to tell him. Mention it early on as you’re getting to know each other. If you desire marriage, do not agree to move in together if there is no plan to get married in the near future.
Be authentic from the beginning about your wants and desires. Date the way you want to mate, and you’ll never wonder whether he is interested in a committed relationship or not. Don’t ignore the signs from him that he isn’t on the same page as you. Move on quickly when you discover that the two of you don’t want the same things out of life.
It’s okay to ask for what you want and if he isn’t on the same page move on. Ultimately, you can’t say or do the wrong thing with the right person. If you scare him off, then he wasn’t a match for you long-term.
If you need reassurance from him, then be straightforward and share your feelings and ask for what you need. You can share with him that you feel nervous or anxious to ask him about the status of the relationship. Give him the respect of having the conversation in person and give him time to think if he doesn’t have an answer for you right away. If he replies in a way that you don’t like, be grateful for the clarity you now have about the relationship so you can do what’s best for you.
When you know your own value you can stop wasting time with guys who aren’t ready for a committed relationship. If you would like some support to date for your soulmate (no matter your current dating situation) apply for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. During this private call with us, we can find out about you and your specific situation and help you bring in the soul-satisfying, long-lasting love you desire.
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.