Signing up for a dating app can feel daunting, especially if you’re divorced and haven’t dated in years. You’re probably feeling vulnerable and hesitant about diving back into the dating pool. How do you create the best profile on a divorced dating app so you avoid time wasters and fake profiles?
Before signing up for a divorced dating app, it’s best to make sure you’re truly ready to start dating again. In general, you’ll want to approach dating with an open heart and mind, but when it comes to online dating you’ll want to set realistic expectations and some ground rules for yourself. It’s important to have the right mindset so you don’t go into dating burnout.
Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?
Nobody gets married thinking they’ll end up divorced, so whether your split was embittered or amiable make sure you’ve taken time to heal. Before signing up for a divorced dating app evaluate your readiness to date again.
You don’t want to end up complaining about your ex while you’re on a date with someone new, so making sure you’re not carrying baggage into the dating process is important.
It’s normal to second guess your readiness and worry about being hurt again, or afraid you won’t find someone who is right for you. These feelings are common, but they aren’t helpful because they can make signing up for a divorced dating app and creating a profile seem daunting.
Not everyone on a divorced dating app is looking to find a life partner. Be brutally honest with yourself so you’re clear about your motives and what your current goals are. It’s okay to just be curious and go on some dates for fun and get your feet wet. It’s also all right if you know you’re ready to find the love of your life. Having a clear goal will help you set your expectations for the world of online dating.
Are You Intimidated By Divorced Dating Apps?
There are many reasons you can feel hesitant to sign up for a dating app, it’s possible that feeling unsure or anxious may be excitement in disguise. Don’t sabotage yourself by letting your fears keep you from the best tool available to meet new people and go on dates.
Fear Of Putting Yourself Out There
Creating a profile on a divorced dating app can leave you feeling apathetic, exposed, or insecure. You may feel frustrated that you haven’t met someone in real life. Posting photos, showcasing your interests, and personal information may feel risky and vulnerable.
Don’t put your lovability in the hands of a stranger— your self-worth and value aren’t determined by people who haven’t even met you. Instead, focus on your goal whether that’s finding your soulmate, or simply looking for companionship.
Sharing your life with someone requires risk at all stages and creating your profile on a divorced dating app may be the first hot door you walk through on this journey. Being vulnerable leaves you in a position to creating meaningful connections, so embrace your courage and put yourself out there!
Overwhelmed By Options
Dating apps can often present an overwhelming number of potential matches. Sorting through numerous profiles, evaluating compatibility, and making decisions can feel formidable, especially if you fear making the wrong choice.
Ease into the dating pool by setting achievable goals. Begin with simple interactions, gradually increasing your level of engagement and comfort. It’s important to stand in your power by setting your own pace for how quickly you reply, whether you require a video chat or not, and how many interactions you’re comfortable with. Don’t let anyone pressure you into moving too quickly.
Keep a short list of non-negotiables. You’re not going to meet your soulmate in a profile, so make it a priority to meet as many people as you can. Look for reasons to say “Yes!” instead of looking for reasons to reject someone.
Fear Of Being Judged
Divorced dating apps only allow for limited information such as profile pictures and short bios. This focus on physical appearance can leave you afraid of being judged solely on your appearance.
The harshest judgment is actually your own, so practice compassion with yourself. You’re learning something new, and it may take time to get it right. Your online profile is marketing material. You’ll want to be authentic, but you can also make the best of what you’ve got. Remember, your eyes are windows into your soul. If someone isn’t into you, it just means they aren’t your person. Keep in mind that ultimately you only need one.
Fear Of Rejection
You can feel afraid of being ignored or rejected when you put yourself out there. Sending messages, expressing interest, or initiating conversations can all lead to rejection.
Don’t let your fear get in the way of you taking action and reaching out to possible matches. You can’t meet with someone you don’t interact with. Someone’s behavior informs you about who they are and what they are capable of. Their behavior is not personal. Ultimately, each person who passes on you brings you closer to meeting your match.
Fear Of Fake Profiles And Scams
Divorced dating apps can leave you feeling skeptical and frustrated. It’s easy to wonder about the legitimacy of profiles and what their intentions are. Your concerns about people being dishonest and misrepresenting themselves can get in the way of participating fully. Never invest emotionally with someone you’ve never met.
Nothing is real until you’ve met them in person — nothing. You can’t be scammed if you don’t give your heart or your money to a stranger you’ve never met. Don’t be fooled by Zoom chemistry! You’ll have to meet face-to-face to know if the connection is real or imagined. Don’t fall for someone “love bombing” you. If they’re professing love and desire for you via the app – it’s a scam.
Comparing Yourself To Others
Seeing other attractive profiles or individuals who appear to have more success can trigger self-doubt and affect your self-esteem. You may find yourself questioning why someone would want to go out with you.
Remember, there’s a lid for every pot. Physical attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Your journey to love will be unique to you, so if you’re feeling marred with self-doubt, it might be time to get help from an expert.
Unfortunately, communicating via text in the app leaves much to be desired and numerous opportunities for misunderstanding. Without non-verbal cues like tone of voice and facial expression, it’s easy to misinterpret each other and not move forward.
Once you get past the initial connection, text communication is best for logistical reasons. Save emotional conversations (and flirting) for the phone, video chat, or in person. Do your best not to assign intent with text-only communication. If you’re unsure of what someone means — ask them.
By recognizing your concerns and fears with divorce dating apps you can take the necessary steps to address them, such as setting boundaries, managing expectations, and prioritizing self-care. You’ll want to navigate through the dating process with confidence. Rather than faking it, proceed with caution and get support. Confidence grows at the speed of safety, so listen to your gut and honor your instincts.
The biggest issue with divorced dating apps is that people get frustrated with the app when the real problem is that most people don’t learn how to use them. A dating app is just a tool to get dates in real life. If you accidentally hurt yourself using a chainsaw, you wouldn’t blame the chainsaw. Rather than allow frustration to guide your actions follow these tips for getting the results you desire from a divorced dating app.
9 Tips To Create The Best Profile On Any Divorced Dating App
Follow these steps to create an irresistible profile.
Be Authentic About Your Positive Traits
You may think it goes without saying, but the impulse to share all your faults as well as your positive traits right away trips up many people. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to share your shortcomings after you’re dating someone exclusively. Let your freak flag fly so your beloved can find you by sharing your genuine interests, goals, and desires. By being real, you attract those who resonate with the real authentic you.
Avoid Lists Whenever Possible
There is nothing less interesting or engaging than a list of things you prefer and enjoy. Instead, share a short 2-3 sentence story about one of your interests. Simply let someone know why it’s important to you and what inspires you. This will engage potential matches who will get a glimpse of what makes you tick. It will also make your profile stand out from the rest. When you paint a picture of your life, a potential match will either see themselves in that vision with you or not. A good profile will be a turn-off for those who are not a good match for you.
Don’t Mention Your Ex
The only thing you need to do to indicate that you’re divorced is to check the box on relationship status. There’s no need to mention that your divorce was just final after three years of divorce court, that your ex cheated on you, or that they were/are a bad parent. You don’t want to go into detail about why it ended or explain anything. That’s for another time after you’ve gotten to know each other. Never mention money problems or job issues either, and instead, place emphasis on everything that’s positive in your life.
Show Off Your Best Self
All your profile photos must have been taken within the past 6 months (unless you recently changed your hairstyle or color). They need to look like you do when you fix your hair and apply your own makeup. Don’t include photos wearing sunglasses or with other people (unless it’s important about your life and it’s obvious which person you are). Smile and let your confidence shine through your eyes.
Photo-taking tip: Laugh a bit and then have the photographer snap the photos. You can even fake laugh because your brain will still release those feel-good endorphins.
Your main profile photo should be a close-up of your face, also known as a “headshot,” and include at least one full body shot. Bright colors are always a good look. Avoid selfies and splurge for a photo shoot if you’re so inclined. You should have 3-5 different photos on your profile. Remember, your photos are your first impression, so get comfortable in front of the camera so you shine!
Date The Way You Want To Mate
Transparency is key in any relationship, so be upfront about your dating goals and what you’re seeking. Whether you’re looking for a serious commitment or taking things slow, make your intentions known. This helps attract like-minded individuals who are aligned with your relationship desires.
Focus On The Positive
Leave all negativity out of your profile and use positive language throughout by expressing optimism and enthusiasm for the future. Positivity is contagious and attractive to potential matches.
Don’t share what you do not want in a partner. Putting too much emphasis on what you don’t want (i.e. Cheaters need not apply!), you come across as angry and bitter.
Ask Questions To Engage Potential Matches
Ask a simple question in your profile to give your potential date an icebreaker. It’s an easy way to get them to respond to you. Add it to the end of your short story about one of your interests or about what you’re looking for. Asking a question also makes you appear accessible and curious. Curiosity is always attractive.
Share Your Vision
Know what you’re looking for in a partner and don’t be afraid to express it. Mention shared interests, values, and qualities that you find important. By being clear about your preferences, you invite individuals who align with your vision of a fulfilling relationship. Share your vision for the future and invite someone to join you who can see themselves in the lifestyle you’ve put on the page.
Your Profile Is Marketing Material
Most people rush through creating a profile and then never look at it again. Your profile is marketing material so don’t skimp on your messaging. Have fun with your screen name. See if you can come up with something that is engaging and reflective of your personality.
If your marketing (i.e. your profile) isn’t getting you the results you want, make changes. The more you regularly update your profile, the more the app will feature you. It’s like shuffling your profile to the top of the deck, so even when it’s working for you still make small changes weekly.
Your online profile on a divorced dating app is your opportunity to shine a light on your unique special self. Have fun with it, and don’t take anything personally.
Ultimately, the profile is just the beginning of your dating journey. Be active on a divorced dating app regularly, be open to conversations, and approach dating after divorce with an open heart. An authentic and appealing profile increases your chances of finding a meaningful connection with someone who appreciates you for who you are today.
Dating after divorce doesn’t have to be hard, nor do you have to struggle along the way. There may be something you’re unaware of that is running your selection process. Are aware that you’re attracted to what is FAMILIAR? Watch this short video to explain what’s really driving your choices in love.