Is relationship compatibility contrary to the idea that opposites attract? What’s truly important for a long-term happy and healthy intimate relationship?

The algorithm used by most dating apps connects you with people who have similar interests. For the most part your matches include someone of the same race, socioeconomic, and educational background, who also enjoys similar hobbies.

In fact, statistics show that most people marry within these parameters. However, this criteria doesn’t necessarily create a relationship that lasts longer, is happier, or ideal to create a healthy partnership.

Do opposites attract or is it relationship compatibility that leads to long-lasting love?

When it comes to an everlasting partnership, the connection between attraction and compatibility is quite complex. It’s not as simple as opposites attract or marry your best friend. There is something much more powerful at play.

Similar interests and backgrounds can help create a sense of comfort with a mate but don’t contribute to whether the relationship can last. In general, having similar interests with someone (and also a similar temperament) is the recipe for a platonic friendship.

Ultimately, attraction and passion don’t develop due to your similarities.

Chemistry and attraction are created from your differences and the foundation for the concept that opposites attract, like magnets. However, chemistry is not necessarily enough to sustain a lasting loving partnership.

In order to share your life with someone long-term it’s imperative to have an understanding of how opposing energies work together for a committed, passionate partnership to thrive.

The Dance Of Relationship

One of the most important differences that make a relationship work is the dance of masculine and feminine energy. (Despite the labels for these energies, this has nothing to do with gender identity). A healthy relationship has a balance of these two energies that are responsive to each other and not at all in opposition.

Relationship compatibility comes down to finding your energetic opposite.

Two masculine energies together create a competitive relationship. Two feminine energies create a reciprocal relationship. Only with opposing masculine and feminine energies do you experience romance and intimacy together. (This is true even for same-sex couples.)

It doesn’t matter which person in the couple possesses greater masculine energy, and which person has more feminine energy for this dynamic to work. A woman who leads with her masculine energy can be satisfied and happy long-term with a man who is comfortable being a receptive partner and more in his feminine energy.

This dance of masculine and feminine energy is the root of the concept that opposites attract and is necessary for relationship compatibility for a lifetime together.

If both partners are masculine energy dominant, competition between them will eliminate sexual desire.

If both partners are feminine dominant, there will be no spark of attraction for passion or physical intimacy to occur.

Only when opposing energies come together will the dance of passion and romance occurs and has the potential to stand the test of time.

Relationship Compatibility And Your Personality

Another area where opposing energies can create relationship compatibility comes from a particular aspect of your personality — whether you are introverted or extroverted. While relationships between two extroverts or two introverts can work for a while, lasting love evolves when these opposing energies come together as a couple.

The extrovert provides energy and a desire to connect, while the introvert grounds that energy and creates a home base for the couple. It’s important to acknowledge and value the benefits each partner brings to the energetic exchange for harmony to exist.

Two extroverts can end up competing for attention and drive a wedge between the couple. Two introverts may lack the energy to address issues between the couple and allow them to drift apart.

Opposites attract when the energy and excitement of the extrovert is matched with the peace and quiet the introvert covets. Appreciating your differences keeps attraction alive and contributes to the harmonious dance between you.

Relationship Compatibility And Your Heart Archetype™

The heart line in the palm of your hand reveals how you’re oriented in romantic relationships. Scientific, non-predictive palmistry provides the owner’s manual to your life providing insights into your soul’s journey.

The lines in your palm do not predict how many times you’ll be married, if you’ll be married at all, or for how long. Instead, Your Heart Archetype™ indicates your requirements from an intimate relationship and shares insights about your behavior when your heart is invested.

Some heart line types are oriented as “You First” with a romantic partner. The others have “Me First” orientation. The “You First” people tend to think of their partner’s needs before their own while the “Me First” types fulfill their own needs before their partner’s.

This doesn’t mean that one type is more altruistic, and the other more selfish. Instead, this information shows how a person is hard-wired with their heart.

Two “You First” people will be challenged to make decisions as each person will be deferring to the other to take the lead. Relationship compatibility will be difficult for two “Me First” oriented people as they are both looking out for themselves first and foremost.

Opposites attract and create a balance between a “You First” and a “Me First.” Then true relationship compatibility exists as the two can be in harmony with one another. For relationship compatibility to grow into lasting love you’re able to communicate your needs to a partner, and for the most part that person can meet your requirements.

In essence, everyone is fighting for love on their terms, and Your Heart Archetype™ identifies exactly what you require to feel loved.

Mutual Respect Is The Key To Navigating Your Differences

When you approach the differences between you and your partner with respect, then you can create a lasting, loving partnership. Most people enjoy discovering their differences at the beginning, in the Romance Phase of a relationship. When the chemical high eventually wears off they become annoyed by those very same differences.

Each partner in a relationship has specific strengths and weaknesses. Putting your focus on discovering and acknowledging your differences allows you to create a solid foundation where you can each contribute to the life you create together. Learning to appreciate how your partner handles certain tasks or situations more effectively than you do is a necessary skill for love to grow deeper between you.

Relationship compatibility grows stronger when your differences are aligned with complementary strengths. Deferring to one another’s strengths creates harmony in a home that will last for decades.

Mutual respect combined with giving your partner the freedom to be who they are without needing to change creates a synergistic love. The two of you are truly capable of taking on the world by making it a better place, and by being able to navigate through challenging times together.

Yes, opposites attract, but only when you respect your differences can love thrive.

Navigating The Stages Of Relationship

Relationship compatibility requires that the two of you are truly committed to creating a healthy, lasting, loving partnership. Part of the skillset for love to last is understanding the five stages of relationship and how they affect your interactions over time.

1. Romance

The first stage of relationship is the Romance Stage. The Romance Stage is when the two of you are falling in love and your brains are being flooded with feel-good chemicals. Most people are on their best behavior during the Romance Stage and haven’t yet revealed all their personality. The longer the Romance Stage the better chance a relationship has of surviving as this stage puts gas in the tank of the relationship.

2. Power Struggle

The second stage of relationship is the Power Struggle Stage. The Power Struggle occurs when the chemicals have begun to wear off and what was initially exciting about that other person becomes annoying. This is also when people begin revealing more of their true selves having relaxed into the relationship.

Most relationships end because the couple is unable to navigate through the Power Struggle. This is why the fantasy of finding the perfect partner you never have a disagreement or a fight with is an unrealistic expectation.

You can overcome the Power Struggle when you stop fighting for your way and instead fight for the relationship.

3. Stability

The third stage of relationship is the Stability Stage. This is when the couple stops fighting for their ego desires and instead chooses to fight for the relationship. Instead of the ego struggle of who is right or who is wrong, develop an “us against the world” mentality. This is how you fight for the relationship, not for your way, or his way.

Look for the win/win in resolving your conflicts instead of seeking compromise. Compromise can lead to hidden resentments as many people give up what they want in order for there to be peace in the relationship.

4. Commitment

The fourth stage of relationship is the Commitment Stage. This is when a couple is truly ready to make a lifelong commitment to one another. The Commitment Stage happens because you decide to accept your partner as is without needing him/her to change. This Commitment Stage comes long after exclusivity and much later than most couples wait as they rush toward engagements and weddings while still in the earlier relationship stages.

5. Bliss or Co-Creation

The fifth stage of relationship is the Bliss or Co-Creation Stage. This stage is when the couple is ready to create something larger than just the two of them and more meaningful in the world. This is when most couples decide to create a family together, or in childless couples, they decide to create something that affects the world around them like charity work, a business, or some other philanthropic cause they both believe in.

Having Shared Values Is The Similarity You Really Need

Relationship compatibility comes from respecting and appreciating that opposites attract. People with different energetics, interests, or strategies can navigate through the pitfalls and challenges life throws their way when they share the same values. Sharing what’s truly important in life is the glue that will get you through any difficulties.

Whether you’re raising children together, working in a business, or simply creating a shared life, if you don’t have the same values then conflicts will create a rift between you. This doesn’t mean that you share the same strategies for handling difficulties, your partner will be a different person than you. What’s important is that you prioritize the same things so you can get back on the same page.

Opposites attract but true relationship compatibility occurs when you both appreciate your differences and are able to defer to one another’s strengths. This dance of relationship may not always be smooth, but it’s beautiful in its complexity. Deep intimacy and connection develop over time as you gain mutual respect and admiration for your partner and how they enhance your life. Ultimately you’re better together than apart.

Do you desire a partner to share your life with? One who will stand by you? If you’re tired of struggling to make a connection, or you seem to be in a battle of following your head or your heart preorder our debut book: GETTING IT RIGHT THIS TIME: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love. Order the hardcover edition from Barnes & Noble, email us the receipt and you’ll be enrolled in our virtual book club FOR NO ADDITIONAL COST, plus three LIVE masterclasses in the New Year. We’ll discuss the concepts presented in the book and answer all your questions.