How To Tell If A Guy Likes You So You Stop Wasting Time On Unavailable Men

12 / 18 / 2020

It can be so maddening dating an emotionally unavailable man. Investing time, energy, and effort into a relationship only to find out weeks or even months later that he is not actually ready for a long-term relationship. Would you like to know how to tell if a guy likes you so that you stop wasting your precious time?

Dating can be daunting and frustrating and many women just swear off dating rather than upgrade their dating skills. Spending hours screening dates by perusing social media and googling may lead to a future career as a private detective but will do little for your love life.

If you want to steer clear of emotionally unavailable men, instead of trying to avoid them focus on understanding men better and knowing how to tell if a guy likes you.

It’s not like there is some “Guy Code” that you have to learn like a new language, a man who wants a relationship with you will give you clear signals about his desires. If you’re unsure of how to tell if a guy likes you so you stop wasting time on unavailable men, look for these common behaviors of a guy who is really into you and is looking for a relationship.

  1. He’ll Be Curious About Your Likes And Dislikes

A guy who likes you will want to know what kind of food, movies, and music you like. He’ll be asking questions about your hobbies and interests. He may ask subtle questions to confirm that you are available or that you find him attractive. He’s looking to see if the water is warm for him to move things forward.

The unavailable guy may be charming, but his charm doesn’t spill over to be interested in what you may or may not fancy. He’s too busy caring about himself and getting you to focus on him. He may flirt with you, but if he’s not curious about you he may just want to puff up his own ego.

If you’re spending a lot of time wondering about his preferences rather than sharing your own, you may end up with the guy who is just looking for something convenient rather than a committed relationship.

How to tell if a guy likes you? He will be asking direct questions about what does and doesn’t delight you.

  1. He Asks You Out In Advance, Not Last Minute

If he’s not asking you out in advance and making plans with you then he may like you but not be ready for something more long-term.

Emotionally unavailable men still want companionship from a woman, however, they will usually reach out and text when it’s convenient for them to see you. The guy who really likes you will want to fill up your dance card – he will ask you out in advance.

A guy likes you if he is eager to see you again, he may even ask you outright at the end of a date or soon thereafter. He’ll ask you out early in the week for a prime date night like a Friday or Saturday night.

This is true regardless of your age! Whether you are Gen Z or Gen X this type of behavior is true of all relationship-ready men. Asking you out in advance is not about being old fashioned, it’s a male trait – the guy who really likes you will want to make sure he has a plan to see you again, usually as soon as possible.

How to tell if a guy likes you? He’ll ask you out in advance, not wait until the last minute.

  1. He Introduces You To His Friends And Family

One way to know if a guy really likes you and is available for a relationship with you is that he will want you to meet his friends and family. He will include you in his life and want you to be a part of it.

The emotionally unavailable guy doesn’t have the desire for you to connect with his friends or want questions from his family about you, so it’s unlikely that you’ll meet them. If he does introduce you to his friends or family, he may downplay your relationship by introducing you as his “friend” instead of “girlfriend.”

Meeting his friends and family is a sure way to know that he sees you in his life long-term. If he’s making excuses for why you’re not meeting his friends and family it’s a red flag that he doesn’t take the relationship seriously.

How to tell if a guy likes you? He’ll include you in his cohort and you won’t be a stranger to his friends or family members he is close with.

  1. He’ll Want To Claim You And Go Exclusive

The man who is hurrying to claim you and go exclusive is a clear sign he really likes you. The guy who is unavailable will never ask for a commitment or to take you off the market.

Guys who want a relationship are clear on the kind of woman they are looking for, so if you fit the bill, he will want to make sure to take you off the market before another man can.

There’s nothing wrong with being casual if that is all that you want. But if you want a lasting relationship, you’re wasting your energy trying to convince a guy that he should want what you want. Relax and let the guy who is ready for a relationship claim you. In doing this, you will never again have to ask a guy, “Where do you see this going?”

How to tell if a guy likes you? He’ll ask for exclusivity so that he can take you off the market.

  1. He’ll Let You Set The Pace For The Relationship

A guy who likes you will wait for you. If you’re not ready for exclusivity or physical intimacy he will be fine with you setting the pace in the relationship. The unavailable guy will stick with his agenda and may push for sex even if you’re hesitant about moving forward.

If he’s coming on strong but gets annoyed that you aren’t falling as fast as him or he tries to convince you to do something you are not ready for then he isn’t sincere in his affection for you. Set the pace and see how he responds.

The man who wants a relationship with you will see you as the prize. He will jump at the chance to show you he is worthy of your heart and your body. He will respect your desire to move things slowly and want you to feel comfortable and safe.

How to tell if a guy likes you? He will be patient with you and allow you to set the pace.

  1. He Makes Plans For The Future With You

The guy who is making plans to see you weeks or months in the future most definitely likes you. If he’s asking about going on a trip together, to the theatre, or a concert then he likes you a lot more than simply enjoying your company.

If he’s asking you in advance about making these plans to get your input about where to go and what to do, then he’s looking to move the relationship forward toward exclusivity.

The unavailable guy may include you in plans he’s already made, but he won’t go out of his way to create something special for the two of you. He’ll do what is convenient for him and nothing more.

How to tell if a guy likes you? He sees you in his future and is making plans for the two of you.

  1. He Will Honor Your Requests

Just because a guy likes you doesn’t mean he will intuitively know how to please you. He may not automatically open your car door for you, but he will make an effort to if you let him know that it is important to you.

A guy who likes you will do his best to give you what you want. He won’t get defensive or act like there is something wrong with you because you asked.

An emotionally unavailable man may see your requests as being needy or too demanding. He may argue with you and may try to convince you that what you want isn’t important. He may agree to go along, but not make any effort to actually fulfill your requests.

How to tell if a guy likes you? Make requests and see if he is willing to do what it takes to please you.

  1. He Works Through Conflict With You

A guy who likes you will make an effort to work through any disagreements. There is no perfect man who you won’t have conflict with. There are, however, men who are willing to resolve your differences and work toward a common goal.

A guy who likes you will want to know how you feel and will be available to talk through the difficult subjects that can come up in a relationship.

A man who is passive-aggressive and avoids conflict, or who is unable to see your side of things isn’t going to be a good match for you in the long run. An emotionally unavailable man just won’t want to deal with you if it isn’t easy.

How to know if a guy likes you? Don’t shy away from conflict and discover if he is able to work through your differences with respect.

  1. He Wants To Make You Happy

A guy who likes you ultimately wants you to be happy. He will make an effort to do the things that please you. He will be curious about what makes you feel good. He will make adjustments when you make requests and share with him your desires.

He will want to make you happy because when you’re happy he can relax and be joyful too.

If a guy expects you to make him happy or constantly puts his wants and needs above yours, he isn’t emotionally available for a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t really care about what you want, then he isn’t your guy.

How to know if a guy likes you? He strives to discover what makes you happy and then delivers it to you.

When you are relaxing back in your feminine energy and letting a man lead, you’ll discover a lot faster if he really likes you. Pursuing emotionally unavailable men is just a waste of your time. By paying attention to his behavior you’ll never again have to guess how he feels about you.

If you are tired of wasting your time with men who don’t step up to claim you, download a copy of our complimentary eBook and audio, “Recognizing Mr. Right” and discover the secrets to finding your ideal match for lasting love.

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About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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