Heartbreak sucks. Especially when the person you loved treated you badly on the way out. You want to move on. You want to know how to let go of someone who hurt you. But you feel stuck and you’re in pain.

Letting go of someone who hurt you takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. But if you take a conscious approach to letting go and moving on from a painful situation, you can heal your heart and create greater love than the one you lost. The silver lining is you’ll be more resilient from heartbreak through the process.

Your heart feels shattered because someone you love has betrayed your trust. Your head is spinning, constantly asking, “Why? Why would someone you love harm you?” Yet, you still love them and wish things had worked out; you find it hard to let go of the hope.

Healing your heart after someone hurts you requires you to move past the hurt and betrayal, heal your heart, and find a more mindful way from the very beginning to select an ideal life partner.

When you’re hurting you can fear that the pain will never go away. You can let go of someone who hurt you, move on, and learn to love as well as trust again.

How To Let Go Of Someone Who Hurt You & Move On With Your Life

1. Why Is It So Hard To Let Go?

You don’t know how to let go of someone who hurt you because part of you is still attached to that person. At the beginning of the relationship, you had so much hope, and you haven’t yet let go of the hope for the relationship to continue. You know logically that it can’t, but your heart hasn’t released the hope yet.

So, you feel stuck between the hurt you feel and the hope that is slowly being crushed. You trusted this person to take care of your heart, to treat you with respect and kindness, and that trust has been broken. One of the first steps to moving on (and one of the hardest to take) is to kill the hope.

Kill the hope that they will ask for forgiveness and make amends for their actions. Kill the hope that things can or will ever go back to the way they were. Only by killing the hope can you stop spinning about what might have been, free yourself to let go, and move on.

2. It Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

It is natural for your mind to search for the meaning of a hurtful event and to understand why it happened. Unfortunately, any meaning you assign to this event is not going to help you feel better. You could be telling yourself that you’ll never love again or lament the fact that you continue to attract people who hurt you. You may even believe that you are somehow cursed, or that you did something wrong to bring this on yourself.

These limiting beliefs only keep you feeling like a victim and do not allow you to embrace your power. You won’t know how to let go of someone who hurt you if you feel like a victim of circumstance.

The truth is the only useful meaning is that their actions have revealed to you their true character. The fact that they hurt you shows you what they’re capable of and reveals that the two of you are not a match. Do not carry their shame. This shame belongs to them and their actions are their responsibility, not yours. There is no shame in loving someone.

3. Know What Is Your Responsibility And What Isn’t

Knowing what is your responsibility and what is their responsibility will allow you to reclaim your power. And there are only three things that you are responsible for: what you think, what you feel, and what you do.

They are responsible for what they think, feel, and do.

Whether you are taking too much responsibility for what happened, or whether you are blaming your partner, taking responsibility for your part gives you the power to change.

You can’t know how to let go of someone who hurt you if you can’t take responsibility for your part and release responsibility for their part. When you do this, you can reclaim your power in the situation and take any actions necessary to move forward in your life.

4. Don’t Ignore Your Feelings

It may seem counterintuitive because the pain of being hurt by someone you love can be intense, but the only way to release the pain is to go through it to the other side. Rather than going numb or attempting to shove down all those uncomfortable emotions – set aside time to feel all your feelings.

Feelings in and of themselves are not bad. Anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, and regret are all a part of being human. Ignoring your feelings or trying to minimize them will only prolong your pain. Your mind will play tricks on you and tell you that you will never feel happy again. This is a lie. The one thing you can count on is that your feelings will change because all of your emotions are temporary.

You won’t feel hurt forever so instead of trying to avoid all those crappy feelings, dig in and allow yourself to feel them. Be angry or sad. Allow yourself to cry and scream. Give yourself permission to spend time feeling sorry for yourself. All of your feelings are appropriate.

Eventually, you’ll find that your feelings will come and go like waves crashing to the shoreline. The hurt will recede, and you will discover moments of relief that grow in time throughout the day, and you’ll feel somewhat normal. Soon these moments will blossom and multiply and you’ll be feeling better more often than not.

If you want to know how to let go of someone who hurt you, take time to feel your feelings and see what is on the other side of your pain.

5. Don’t Feed The Hurt

Every time you check their Facebook or look at what they’re doing on their Insta, you are pouring salt into your wounded heart and preventing it from healing. The more you tell the story of what happened and search for why it occurred, the more you keep yourself stuck in a never-ending loop.

Cut off all contact. Block them on social media so you don’t see them in mutual friends’ posts. Change their name on your phone to “Do Not Answer” and follow this advice. No response is necessary if/when they reach out to you. You have no obligation to engage.

You won’t know how to let go of someone who hurt you as long as you’re feeding the hurt. Put aside your emotional stories about what happened and why. Instead, redirect your focus to self-care and healing your heart.

Attend to your broken heart. Cocoon yourself if necessary. Knowing how to let go of someone who hurt you requires you to focus on your needs and healing. Time is your best friend through this process.

6. How To Forgive And Why It’s Important

Forgiveness may be the furthest thing from your mind right now. You may even wonder if it’s possible to ever forgive someone for betraying your trust. Forgiveness is important because it sets you free and therefore it is integral for you to move on. You’ll never truly let go of someone who hurt you without it.

As long as you’re holding onto anger and resentment, you’re tied to them. And the anger and resentment is only harming you. Ultimately forgiveness is for you because once you feel neutral about these events you’ll be free. Free from them, free to trust yourself, and free to love again.

Standing in forgiveness does not make their actions okay or in any way appropriate. Nor does it mean that you must allow them back into your life. It doesn’t even require that you ever speak to them again.

Hurt people lash out and hurt people. The fact that they hurt you means they were hurt too – not by you, but they carry a wound that caused them to do what they did.

You may also be judging yourself for allowing this to happen, choosing them to give your heart to, or feeling that you are partially to blame. Forgive yourself for not knowing any better. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, not seeing the problem, or being open and vulnerable with them.

You are a human being and therefore not perfect. Decide now that you will learn and grow from this experience and choose to be more loving and kind with yourself.

How to let go of someone who hurt you? By forgiving them because you understand that their behavior is about them and had nothing to do with you.

7. Use This Experience To Grow Stronger

Emotional strength and resilience evolve from difficult experiences and overcoming them. Courage develops when you face issues in your life head-on, without backing down or giving up. The skills for lasting love develop when you learn from experiences, but don’t allow them to close off your heart.

Life will always throw you curveballs and being hurt by someone close to you is one of the greatest challenges you can go through. The internal strength you acquire will give you the endurance to continue moving toward your goal of sharing your life with an ideal mate.

Taking a mindful approach to being hurt by someone close to you can give you the resources and skills to move on with your life and thrive! 16^th Century poet George Herbert said, “Living well is the best revenge.”

Living your life well, instead of shrinking in the face of hurt and betrayal can shape you into a brilliant diamond of a person that others look up to and wish to emulate (and perhaps fill your Ex with shame and regret for their actions).

Now that you’re aware of the steps to letting go of someone who hurt you and moving on with your life, ask yourself what do I need to make this transformation a reality?

The truth is, if you knew how to do this on your own you would have already released the hurt and moved on. So lovingly, because we know that’s not where you are, we want to take you one step closer to the truth. Click here to watch this video to learn the real reason why it has been so hard for you to break the cycle of unfulfilling relationships.

You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can turn your love life around.