Break-ups can be devastating, especially when you really thought he was The One. You may find your broken heart has manifested into physical pain or depression. You’re not motivated to do anything except search Google for ways to heal a broken heart and move on.
Healing your heart so you feel better isn’t the solution to the real problem. In order to truly move on you’ve got to break your particular pattern of heartbreak with the guy that feels so right until it goes so wrong.
Why do the guys that light you up turn out to be the biggest disappointments?
You may think that all the guys you’ve fallen for are different, however, it’s you that is the common denominator in all of your relationships. Discovering your particular pattern is the key to creating the lasting love you desire.
7 Ways To Heal A Broken Heart And Move On Energetically So You Stop Attracting The Same Kind Of Men
Cut Off Contact From The Guy Who Broke Your Heart
Your broken heart is an open wound right now and you need time to let it heal. Checking his Facebook and Instagram or responding to his texts to “just be friends” will keep that wound open.
In order to start the healing process, you’ll want to cut off all contact. Block him on social media. You don’t need to be checking on where he is and who he’s hanging out with.
Change his name in your phone to “Do Not Answer” and follow these instructions when he reaches out. This way you won’t accidentally get sucked back in. Simply deleting him from your phone can cause a problem later when you unintentionally answer his familiar-looking number.
When you’re looking for ways to heal a broken heart and move on, cutting off all contact with him is the first step.
Allow Your Feelings To Flow Through You
Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, putting on a brave face and trying to ignore the hurt, anger, and sadness will just prolong the pain. The saying, “What you resist persists,” is most true when you have a broken heart and feel badly.
These awful feelings won’t last, they’re only temporary because emotions are not static. Think of your emotions like ocean waves crashing on the shore. Allowing the waves of emotion to flow through your body will create space for you to feel something else.
Give yourself time to feel all of your feelings, the good, bad, and the ugly. Throw yourself a pity party. Play sad heartbreak songs and have a good cry. Set aside time to just scream into a pillow or underwater in a bath. Let your feelings flow and you will find that you‘ll feel better a lot faster than if you just stew and resist expressing yourself.
Your desire for love is part of the human experience so there’s no need to feel shame that your heart is broken. The actions you choose to take now can change the course of your love life for good, but first, you must give yourself time to grieve.
And for those of you on a spiritual path don’t skip this vital step. Rather than spiritual bypassing the icky feelings embrace the full range of human emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, just don’t take destructive actions, simply allow your emotions to be whatever they are.
Acknowledge and express your feelings. A swift way to heal a broken heart and move on is to first allow yourself to grieve what you have lost.
Kill The Hope That This Guy Will Become The One For You
Hope is the first thing to enter a relationship and the last thing to leave. It can be hard to let go of hope when a relationship ends, so we’re going to give it to you straight. Please don’t shoot the messenger, we’re here delivering the tough love you need to heal your heart and move on.
Part of you is still wishing and hoping that he’ll change his mind and want you back. Accepting that this is never going to happen is an important but difficult step.
He’s not going to suddenly become The One for you. Don’t waste another minute hoping he’ll realize he made a big mistake. Kill the hope that he’ll see what a fool he is for ending things. Kill the hope that he’ll become someone other than who he is right now.
This may sound a little harsh, but you’ll thank us when you’re with someone new who values you and treats you like a goddess. Killing the hope opens up the possibility for someone else, someone even better, to come into your life.
Of all the ways to heal a broken heart and move on this one can be the most difficult. That little girl inside of you so wants to prove to him that you are worthy of his love. Killing the hope is one of the most loving acts you can take for yourself.
Take this step and watch your self-love and self-confidence grow.
Forgive Him, Forgive Yourself, And Get The Learning From The Experience
The reason forgiveness is not at the top of this list is that you won’t be ready to forgive until you have given yourself time to grieve. There is no need to rush to forgiveness.
Allowing yourself to feel all those bad feelings first paves the way for you to reach a place where you can forgive, heal your heart, and move on.
Forgiveness releases you energetically from the relationship and the energetic connection of being emotionally entangled with him.
Forgiveness requires a conscious choice to release your hurt, anger, and resentment, whether or not he deserves it. It doesn’t condone or excuse his behavior, nor should you just forget what happened.
You may also need to forgive yourself for your behavior in the relationship. Maybe your communication wasn’t always kind. Perhaps you made some mistakes and you regret things you’ve said or done.
Owning your mistakes and taking responsibility for your part in the break-up is good. Taking too much responsibility and blaming yourself for the failure of the relationship will just make things worse. The dance of relationship is like any other partner dance – it takes two to create it. You are only responsible for your own actions not the behavior or response of the other person.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect – no human being is. There is no such thing as perfection and trying to live up to that unrealistic expectation is hurting you more than you can imagine.
Taking these steps allows you to release yourself energetically from him and from the relationship. This may require you to find the Golden Nugget of Learning™ from the situation.
What did this relationship show up to teach you? Did you need to learn how to set clearer boundaries? Maybe you needed to learn to love and value yourself!
Whatever the reason, when you find the Golden Nugget, you’ll allow yourself to feel grateful for the situation. This gratitude will let you finally release yourself from him so that you can be free to love again.
What Are The Goodies You Get From This Unhealthy Pattern?
All of your behavior has positive intent. The results of your behavior may not be positive, but the intention underneath is to get something you need, like love, approval, or acceptance.
You learned how to love in your family of origin – just like you learned to walk, talk, and tie your shoe. Once you know these things you do them on autopilot. Walking into a room you don’t consciously decide to find someone attractive — it just happens (also on autopilot).
Think about it this way, when you walk into a room of a hundred people you’ve never met before some of those people stand out. It’s like they are highlighted for you. The rest of the people are like extras in your own personal movie. You know they’re in the room, but they’re kind of gray and in the background, and a bit fuzzy – they don’t pop.
The root cause of your unhealthy patterns in love comes from the disparity of not being loved the way you wanted to be loved in your family of origin. The bad news is that you’ve been unconsciously a slave to this core wound.
We call this subconscious program Your Love Imprint® and it causes the familiar dynamic from your family to be highlighted out in the world while the great guy that would be an ideal match for you is just grayed out and out of focus for you. It’s like he doesn’t exist.
Ultimately when you discover your core wound you’ll no longer be stuck in “New Face — Same Guy Syndrome.” The knowledge that you’re pining for the thing you can’t have will forever change the way you date and select a mate.
The process of identifying your core wound and transforming it is the shortest of all the ways to heal your heart and move on so you can create the lasting love you deserve.
Get Clarity Before Rushing Into Another Relationship
Most people date backwards which means that you’re likely doing this very common mistake. You wait to find a person that gives you all the feels and from there you try to make the relationship work.
You may have tried to make it with the nice guy that you had no chemistry with only to find that didn’t work either.
Here’s the real-deal common sense about love that no one else will tell you: You don’t have to choose between having chemistry or not. You get to have lasting love with a guy who lights you up!
Never settle for a relationship without the spark because you cannot settle for a lifetime. At some point, it won’t be worth it to stay the course. It’s too easy to walk away when you hit that inevitable second stage of relationship — The Power Struggle — without chemistry.
Instead, create a crystal-clear vision of the relationship you want without inserting a face into the image. Know how you want the relationship to function. Decide ahead of time the dynamic you desire between the two of you. Before you ever meet, choose the feelings that he invokes inside of you and all the body sensations that you would like to have.
Most people are clear on what they do not want. When they imagine their desire it’s usually vague and not in focus. Or if it’s clear it’s an attachment to a specific person.
You are the master creator of your life! Once you embrace this truth you’re in the driver’s seat to create change in every part of your life. It’s your choice to heal your broken heart and move on. No man will show up and suddenly make your life better. It’s up to you to create a life that is in alignment with your highest and best self and then create the vision of the relationship you want.
Once you are clear on the vision of what you want you won’t be far from living it.
Say No To Anything That Doesn’t Align With Your Vision
There’s one caveat that may show up, and when it does you must commit to stay on course to lasting love with an ideal partner. When you take the steps above it’s likely that you’ll be tested.
Your old pattern may show up again. The tempting familiar situation with a guy who lights you up may show up one more time.
It’s very important you say no to the old way of being and reject him. This guy is just a reminder that you know better now. That you’ve evolved past him and his type.
You’re no longer a slave to that autopilot response of falling for the guy who is a match to Your Love Imprint®. The familiar may appear tempting, but it’s up to this newly educated version of you to turn it down.
Saying no to anything that is not what you want means that you know you deserve to have what you truly desire. In order to heal your heart and move on you must stay the course to say, “No,” and to look for a new way to select a mate.
We want you to know that you can stumble, and you can hit that repeat button again and again and you’ll still get another chance. As a matter of fact, if you don’t believe us and you go back to Mr. Unavailable yet again this article will still be here. And we’ll still be here because at any point you can decide to evolve past what is familiar so you can create what is in your true heart’s desire.
You’ll always have another opportunity to grow towards your beloved. Your beloved is the man who will stand by you no matter what, the one who you can count on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow, the one you’re hot for and he’s also hot for you.
If that’s what you want as quickly as humanly possible then schedule a complimentary call with us by clicking here. We are guides to love and we believe you can have that long-lasting love you have dreamed of. Let us show you how.