How To Get Over A Crush Before Your Heart Is Too Deeply Involved

Having a crush can lift your spirits and fuel hope for your future. However, if your feelings are growing towards someone and they’re not giving you any signals they feel the same way, knowing how to get over a crush can save you from a lot of frustration.

A crush can feel exciting to indulge in but use caution when investing your heart because your feelings are mostly based on delusion. Real, lasting love isn’t about dreaming up romantic fantasies from afar. It’s about risking your heart and being authentic with someone to create a connection. A crush is just a passing infatuation, however intense it may feel.

If you find yourself crushing on someone and are afraid you’re going to get hurt again, it’s important to take care of yourself and prioritize your emotional well-being. Here are some steps you can take to help you get over a crush before you get in too deep.

How To Get Over A Crush Before Your Heart Is Too Deeply Involved

  1. Accept/Acknowledge Your Feelings For What They Are

Recognize and accept your feelings for what they are. Developing a crush is natural but remind yourself that what you’re feeling isn’t real. It’s based on a fantasy you’ve created in your mind. Your vision of this person is clouded by your feelings toward them. You can get over a crush when you realize who they really are won’t fit your imagined picture of who you want them to be.

  1. Stop Giving A Stranger The Benefit Of The Doubt

Too many people allow themselves to get caught romanticizing someone based on an online profile or text exchange on a dating app. Remember, nothing is real until you meet in person and experience your feelings while in their presence IRL. Even then, it takes time to get to know someone and for them to reveal their true character. Here is how to get over a crush – don’t let longing cloud your judgment.

  1. Beware Of Fantasy Relationships

If you have a habit of crushing on people you barely know or getting attached to someone you’re chatting with online but haven’t met in person, you may be addicted to fantasy relationships. Imagining a future with an acquaintance can be intoxicating but can lead to dating burnout when the real human being doesn’t measure up. You can leave yourself open to being a target to scammers by investing your heart too quickly. It’s better to lean back. let them pursue you, and make the effort to win your heart.

  1. Beware Of Idealizing Your Crush

When you have an infatuation, it’s easy to idealize your crush believing them to be the perfect person for you. Imagining that you two are exactly alike can turn around and bite you when you discover your differences. It’s true that opposites attract, so accepting your differences and learning to defer to one another strengths is a better strategy for long-lasting love. To get over a crush, remind yourself that nobody is perfect, and recognizing this can help you break the spell of your daydream.

  1. Take Some Space And Feel Your Grief

It’s normal to feel loss, even if you were just crushing on someone you barely knew. Give yourself some time to feel your grief. Notice any triggers that come up for you. Maybe you have a story that love isn’t meant to be for you, or that you’re fated to be alone. These stories you’re telling yourself aren’t true, it’s just your grief talking. Feel your feelings but don’t get caught up in a negative story about your life. Getting over a crush is easy when you decide your life story won’t be defined by one event. Your future does not have to look like your past.

  1. Kill The Hope

Hope is the first thing to enter a relationship, even one that’s just a crush. Killing the hope sets you free from limbo and takes your power back in the present moment. Holding onto hope will only prolong your grief and rob more of your precious time. You’re not living in West Side Story, there are no outside forces keeping the two of you apart. If this was your person, it would have worked out. How to get over a crush? Accept the reality that you two won’t be together and you’ll quickly heal your heart and move on.

  1. Don’t Stalk Your Crush

Distance yourself from the person you have a crush on, both physically and emotionally. Limit contact, and avoid situations where you’re likely to see them, especially on social media. Stalking your crush on social media or in real life is like picking at a scab and wondering why the wound won’t heal. You’re just torturing yourself and delaying the process of healing your heart. If you can’t help yourself, block them so they won’t show up in your feed. You’ll need time to release the intensity of your feelings. Have a friend be your accountability partner if needed. Getting over a crush is easier when you go cold turkey (you’ll thank us later for giving it to you straight).

  1. Don’t Accept Friendship As A Consolation Prize

You’ll never be satisfied with being just friends with your crush. You’ll always want more and interpret every little kindness as a sign that they’re starting to fall for you. Just like the dieter who just wants a bite of that chocolate cake, you know you won’t be happy with the crumbs of friendship. You deserve to be with someone who is crazy about you and wants to step up and claim you — don’t settle for anything less. How to get over a crush? You don’t accept friendship as a consolation prize.

  1. Focus On Self-Care

Shift your attention and energy away from your crush and towards self-care. Daydreaming about your crush will make you lose yourself. Do things that make you happy, exercise, spend time with friends, or pursue personal goals. Putting the focus on your physical and mental well-being will help you regain a sense of control and fulfillment. Self-care is one of the most important steps when you’re focused on how to get over a crush.

  1. Don’t Wallow In Self-Pity

Feeling sorry for yourself because your crush didn’t lead to a relationship won’t help you feel better. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, pick yourself up and spend time with your friends and family that care about you. Practice gratitude for all that you have that’s going well in your life. Take up a new hobby or dedicate time to some of your passions. By exploring new activities and meeting new people, you’ll expand your horizons and divert your attention away from your crush. Engaging in new experiences can also help you grow as an individual.

  1. Don’t Take It Personally

It’s disappointing when your crush doesn’t return your affection, but this doesn’t mean that the rejection is personal. Unrequited love is not a reflection of your worth. Taking rejection personally can trigger you to spiral into feelings of unworthiness and despair. There are millions of reasons why your feelings weren’t reciprocated and none of them have to do with you. You deserve someone who chooses you and makes you a priority.

  1. Beware Of Becoming Bitter

Rejection can send you in a downward spiral worrying that love is too difficult to find. Getting your hopes up only to have them dashed is a recipe for dating burnout. Don’t let this happen to you and make you bitter. Focusing on how to get over a crush means you must steer clear of bitterness. Instead, discover why you keep getting stuck in the same patterns and resolve to make changes in yourself. People of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds find lasting love — you can too. Remember, there is a lid for every pot!

  1. Don’t Chase Unavailable Partners

Are you looking for validation from someone else? Expecting that your person will show up and turn your life around? A lack of self-worth will have you constantly chasing love from people who aren’t available to you. Are you stuck in a negative cycle of love and rejection, thinking they go hand in hand? Only you can make you feel lovable. How to get over a crush? Stop chasing unattainable love and grow your self-worth by treating yourself with loving kindness.

  1. Be Wary Of Love Addictions

If you tend to always have a crush, you may have an addiction to the excitement of falling in love. There’s an emotional rush at the beginning of a crush that is as powerful as a drug. Lasting love doesn’t always feel like a honeymoon. It goes through many stages and while that feeling of romance can ebb and flow throughout a relationship, healthy love deepens over time. If you find yourself addicted to the fantasy and romance of young love and unable to create lasting love, you may have an addiction to falling in love.

  1. Stop Dating Backwards™

A crush is a sure sign you’re dating in reverse. When you’re crushing on someone you’re putting them on a pedestal which means you’re giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt. Investing your heart should be like a financial investment, you’ll want to vet your candidate and check out the pros and cons. It’s only after someone has proven themselves as worthy should you invest your heart and then give them the benefit of the doubt. This process takes time so commit to Slow Love. It’s counter-intuitive, but the slower you go, the faster you find your soulmate match.

A crush is a wonderful way to grease the wheels after a breakup instead of having a rebound relationship. It can be a fun way to flirt and ease into the idea of dating again. Having a crush is only a problem if you take it too seriously or find that you struggle to recover and move on when they don’t work out. How to get over a crush is a personal journey, and everyone heals at their own pace. Be kind to yourself throughout the process and focus on personal growth and self-love.

You may need support in breaking your negative dating patterns. You don’t have to go through this journey alone. Seeking professional guidance is the fastest way to move on from unrequited love. Hiring a coach is the fastest way to get over a crush.

A crush can be a symptom of a subconscious block to love, especially if you notice a pattern in your relationships of pining for people who don’t reciprocate your affections. Breaking your negative patterns and creating new strategies for lasting love allows you to get back in your power to select an ideal mate for a fulfilling life. Join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session and we’ll help you create a plan for the love you desire and deserve.

About the authors

Love Coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.

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