Break-ups can be devastating, especially when you truly believed you had met The One. The emotional pain of losing someone you cared deeply for can manifest in physical discomfort or even depression. You’re not motivated to do anything except search Google for ways to heal a broken heart and move on.

While it’s natural to want to feel better quickly, ignoring your pain and hoping it’ll just heal over time isn’t enough. To truly move on, it’s important to break the specific pattern of heartbreak that keeps repeating with the person who feels so right until it goes so wrong.

Why do the people who light you up turn out to be the biggest disappointments?

You may think that all the partners you’ve fallen for are different; however, it’s you who is the common denominator in all of your relationships. Discovering your particular pattern is the key to creating the lasting love you desire.

Are you looking for ways to heal a broken heart and move on? Here are some approaches that will help you heal your heart and find love again.

7 Ways To Heal A Broken Heart And Move On Energetically So You Stop Attracting The Same Kind Of Partner

1. Cut Off Contact From The Person Who Broke Your Heart

Your broken heart is an open wound right now, and you need time to let it heal. Checking their socials or responding to their texts to “just be friends” keeps that wound open.

To initiate the healing process, sever all contact. Block them on social media. You don’t need to be checking on where they are and who they’re hanging out with.

Change their name in your phone to “Do Not Answer” and follow these instructions when they reach out. This way you won’t accidentally get sucked back in. Simply deleting them from your phone can cause a problem later when you unintentionally answer their familiar-looking number.

When you’re looking for ways to heal a broken heart and move on, cutting off all contact with your ex is the first step.

2. Allow Your Feelings To Flow Through You

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, putting on a brave face and trying to ignore the hurt, anger, and sadness just prolongs the pain. The saying, “What you resist persists,” is most true when you have a broken heart and feel bad.

These awful feelings won’t last; they’re only temporary because emotions are not static. Think of your emotions like ocean waves crashing on the shore. Allowing the waves of emotion to flow through your body creates space for you to feel something else.

Give yourself time to feel all of your feelings, the good, bad, and the ugly. Throw yourself a pity party. Play sad heartbreak songs and have a good cry. Set aside time to just scream into a pillow or underwater in a bath. Let your feelings flow, and you‘ll feel better a lot faster than if you just stew and resist expressing yourself.

Your desire for love is part of the human experience, so there’s no need to feel shame that your heart is broken. The actions you choose to take now can change the course of your love life for good, but first, you must give yourself time to grieve.

For those of you on a spiritual path, don’t skip this vital step. Rather than spiritually bypassing the icky feelings, embrace the full range of your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, just don’t take destructive actions; simply allow your emotions to be whatever they are.

Acknowledge and express your feelings. One of the ways to heal a broken heart and move on is to first allow yourself to grieve what you have lost.

3. Kill The Hope That They Will Become The One For You

Hope is the first thing to enter a relationship and the last thing to leave. It can be hard to let go of hope when a relationship ends, but part of you is still wishing and hoping that they’ll change their mind and want you back. Accepting that this is never going to happen is an important but difficult step.

They’re not going to suddenly become The One for you. Don’t waste another minute hoping they’ll realize they made a big mistake. Kill the hope that they’ll see what a fool they are for ending things. Kill the hope that they’ll become someone other than who they are right now.

This may sound a little harsh, but you’ll be grateful when you’re with someone who loves and respects you. Killing the hope opens up the possibility for someone else, someone even better, to come into your life.

Of all the ways to heal a broken heart and move on this one can be the most difficult. That little child inside of you so wants to prove to them that you are worthy of their love. Killing the hope is one of the most loving acts you can take for yourself.

Take this step and watch your self-love and self-confidence grow.

4. Forgive Them, Forgive Yourself, And Get The Learning From The Experience

The reason forgiveness isn’t the first step is that you aren’t ready to forgive until you’ve given yourself time to grieve. There’s no need to rush to forgiveness.

Allowing yourself to feel all your feelings first paves the way for you to forgive, heal your heart, and move on.

Forgiveness frees you from the emotional ties and energy that keep you connected to your ex. Forgiveness comes when you choose to let go of hurt and anger. It doesn’t excuse or erase what happened.

You may also need to forgive yourself for your behavior in the relationship. Maybe your communication wasn’t always kind. Perhaps you regret things you’ve said or done.

Owning your mistakes and take responsibility for your part in the break-up. Taking too much responsibility and blaming yourself for the failure of the relationship just makes things worse. The dance of relationship is like any other partner dance – it takes two to create it. You’re only responsible for your actions, not your ex’s behavior.

An important step in your forgiveness journey is discovering what your relationship taught you about yourself and relationships. When you find the Golden Nugget of Learning from the situation, you can release yourself energetically from your ex.

What did this relationship show up to teach you? Did you need to learn how to set clearer boundaries? Maybe you needed to learn to love and value yourself!

Whatever the reason, when you find the Golden Nugget, you’ll feel gratitude for the experience, which allows you to finally release heart, so that you can be free to love again. Forgiveness is one of the key ways to heal a broken heart and move on.

5. What Did You Get From This Unhealthy Pattern?

All your behavior has positive intent. The results of your behavior may not be positive, but the intention underneath is to get something you need, like love, approval, or acceptance.

You learned how to love in your family of origin – just like you learned to walk, talk, and tie your shoe. The root cause of your unhealthy patterns in love comes from the disparity of not being loved the way you wanted to be loved in your family of origin. This core wound becomes your inner GPS for love.

This subconscious program, Your Love Imprint^®, highlights people who match the familiar dynamic from your family. It sends a signal, saying, “This is familiar! This is familiar!” The familiar signal is misinterpreted as excitement and attraction. It’s why you find yourself attracted to similar types over and over again.

Ultimately when you discover your core wound you’ll no longer be stuck in the same relationship dynamics you’ve been repeating. The knowledge that you’re trying to heal the wound from your childhood in your relationships will forever change the way you date and select a mate.

The process of identifying your core wound and transforming it is the most effective of all the ways to heal a broken heart and move on so you can create the lasting love you deserve.

6. Get Clarity Before Rushing Into Another Relationship

Most people date backwards. When you feel attraction and chemistry, you give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger, before you know if they’re capable of meeting your needs. You let your heart decide without having a clear vision of who would make a good partner.

Create a crystal-clear vision of the relationship you want. Know how you want the relationship to function. Decide ahead of time the dynamic you desire between you. When you’re clear on the type of relationship you desire, you can better evaluate whether the person you’re dating is a good match.

Most people are clear on what they do not want. You can’t manifest the opposite of what you don’t want. If your imagined relationship is vague and out of focus, or if it’s just the opposite of the relationship that didn’t work out, you’ll struggle to create something lasting.

You are the master creator of your life! Embrace your power and get in the driver’s seat to create change in every part of your life. It’s your choice to find ways to heal a broken heart and move on. No one will show up and save you. You’re in charge of your happiness, not your partner. It’s up to you to create a life that is in alignment with your highest and best self and then create the vision of the relationship you want.

Once you’re clear on the vision of what you want you won’t be far from living it.

7. Say No To Anything That Doesn’t Align With Your Vision

These steps don’t guarantee you’ll never meet someone like your ex again. The tempting familiar situation with that person who lights you up in the same way may show up one more time.

To change your pattern, say no to that familiar dynamic. As soon as you recognize the red flags, reject them and move on. Making a new choice is how you evolve past your old, familiar type.

In order to no longer be a slave to your autopilot response of falling for the person who’s a match to Your Love Imprint^®. The familiar may appear tempting, but it’s up to you to make a new choice.

Saying no to anything that isn’t what you want creates the space for something new. You deserve to have what you truly desire. To heal your heart and move on you must say, “No,” to your old pattern.

You may stumble and hit that repeat button again and again and you’ll still get another chance. Love isn’t destined for some and not for others. You’ll always have another opportunity to grow towards your beloved. Your beloved is the person who stands by you no matter what, the one who you can count on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow, the one you’re hot for and who’s also hot for you.

If you’re looking for ways to heal a broken heart and move on our book, Getting It Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love, guides you to discover your limiting beliefs, unhelpful strategies, and unhealed emotional stories that block you from love. You’ll go on a journey to heal your heart and find your forever person. You can order your copy here.