This week’s question comes from CJ:

“Hi!  I want to know if you can help me understand something. Why is it that being abused in your life helps you choose people that have abusive tendencies? And how do you get yourself to a place where you can find happiness and comfort?”

Dear CJ,

Thank you for coming forward to ask for help in understanding why this happens. We learn to receive love at a very young age. And as we grow older how we learned to receive love becomes what our subconscious mind identifies as “love.”

The subconscious doesn’t have the ability to judge, it simply identifies what is Known and what is Unknown.

When we are raised in an abusive home, on the subconscious level we believe that this is what love is. Love and abuse become intertwined in our subconscious and we learn to expect pain as a part of love.

As our subconscious controls our behavior, that part of us is looking for what is familiar. This occurs simply because we are wired for SURVIVAL. So the subconscious mind will seek out what is familiar because today, you are alive.

If we experience abuse (particularly at a young age) it is locked in as familiar and known.

All of us create love in this way – not just those who have been abused. Everyone learns to receive love from flawed parents and then seeks out that flawed pattern as we grow older. And for those who have been raised in a home with abuse, it is easy to see a huge disparity between what we desire (Love) and what is familiar (Abuse).

We will continue to choose what is familiar over what we desire unless we alter the subconscious story that is playing out.

Think of that setting locked in the subconscious as your GPS For Love – it is what FEELS like love. This “setting” is software – not hardware – so it is possible to change it.

We’d like to remind you that we are all complex beings and that these changes are not something you stumble into, but rather something you choose with dedication and commitment.

If you are interested in discovering the setting on your GPS For Love, apply for a Your Love Imprint® Session with us.

Identifying what love FEELS like to the part of you that will consistently look for what is familiar is the essential first step to being able to transform it.

During a Your Love Imprint® Session we will first identify your biggest block to creating the love you want and we’ll also share with you opportunities to transform it with us so you can create soul-satisfying, long-lasting love.

Our skillset allows us to use transformative processes that quickly create a shift so that a new kind of man is attractive to you – one that is in alignment with your highest and best self.

We are here to be your guides to love!

Love and Abundance,