This week’s question comes from Shellie:

Hi Orna and Matthew,

I am so grateful for the two of you. I watch all your webinars and I read your newsletter weekly. You give a completely unique point of view about love and relationships that for me adds up to the best dating advice.

Here’s my question: Why do I have to be the one to change in order for love to come in?

Every week in your newsletter there’s a beautiful quote at the top that often says how we are born as love and that love is our birthright. So if that’s true, how come I have to do something differently for that love to show up for me?”

Hi Shellie,

Thank you so much for your positive feedback! It’s like fuel that keeps us going. We selected your question because it really hits a point of dichotomy – we are all born the physical embodiment of the energy of love. In that regard, love is our birthright.

No baby comes into the world with blocks to love – we come in WIDE OPEN! That little baby shines the spotlight of love on anyone who is around, and will receive love from anyone willing to give it.

What happens is a product of what we call The Human Condition. The majority of us are not loved exactly as we would’ve liked in our family of origin. Plus, we’re born into an established system in our family – and the more kids and further down the birth order we arrive the more established that system is.

So on the one hand – Love Is Your Birthright. On the other hand – what limiting beliefs did you take on as a little girl that are currently blocking the adult woman from having the love she desires?

We are taking a very complex idea and simplifying it for ease of communication, however, we are very complex beings.

To put it very plainly: If you want your life to change – then YOU have to change something!

If you are content and filled with joy then perhaps there is nothing to change at all. Looking for more joy? More love? More connection? If that’s the case, then it’s time to look within and see what adjustments can be made so you can create a life you truly LOVE!

The complex system around what love feels like to you is what we call Your Love Imprint®. This system is not conscious – meaning it exits in the place where all of those autopilot behaviors live: in your subconscious mind.

You don’t think about how to tie your shoe. At this point in life you slip on a shoe and tie the laces thinking about a million other things while you do it. That’s how Your Love Imprint® is operating. It’s simply responding with a known program filtering through millions of bits of information to see what is familiar and what is not.

This is the ONLY criteria the subconscious uses!!

So in order to go from where you are to where you want to be something must change. The tough part is that the shift must occur on the subconscious level – not just in your conscious mind.

Think about this: Millions of people all around the globe know that smoking will shorten their lives, yet they light up several times a day.

The changes we support our clients in making are transformations on the subconscious level where new resources are made available and a new way of being emerges. Ultimately choice in behavior becomes an option where it never was before.

A perfect example is feedback we received from a client about a month ago. She met with us in Los Angeles for a VIP Day to begin her coaching package. Her recent ex-boyfriend was a big trigger for her and he would show up all over town. About a week after being with us in LA, she walked out of the supermarket to find that he was blocking her car in with his own vehicle.

The good news was that she wasn’t triggered at all! She said it felt like a miracle had occurred because she could calmly deal with the situation at hand and not have her heart in her throat.

If you know you want to create soul-satisfying, long-lasting love and want to see if private coaching is a fit for you, click here to read more about it.


We are here to be your guides to love!

Love and Abundance,