This week’s question comes from Laura:

“Dear Orna and Matthew,

I hope you can help me with a difficult situation.

I am starting a different career. I am tired, stressed, kind of needy, and don’t feel at my best, although I do have “highs” and “lows.” I don’t know when it will go away.  I have men still interested in me, but I don’t want to date them because this isn’t the “best me” yet.  But I am torn as I would LOVE the opportunity for them to encourage me and talk to me – celebrate with me and cheer me up when needed, etc.   

I have heard many different things – that if you wait until your life is “perfect” you’ll never start, etc.

I love your programs and have learned SO much from you!!”


Dear Laura,

Thanks for your kind words and thanks for writing to us. We certainly get how difficult it can be to know when you are ready. So many programs emphasize being happy and whole before you look to get into a relationship.

This can lead to feeling like you have to wait until everything is “perfect” before you even start dating.

Perfection will never happen, so why wait!

You will always be a work in progress. There will always be parts of your life that you can improve upon – whether it is your finances, your health, your career, or your spiritual and emotional mastery.

None of these are necessary for creating love. Love is not waiting for you to be perfect to show up in your life.

We would caution you to get into a relationship so that a man will be there to do things a friend or supportive family could do. Expecting him to “cheer you up” and “encourage you” can lead to an unhealthy situation where you need a man to validate you or build up your self-esteem.

Our suggestion is to date, have fun, and meet new people. Keep it light. Practice authenticity. The more you do this, the better you will be at dating.

Then when you are “ready” for something long-term you won’t be starting from square one.

If you find that you feel you might NEVER be ready, then it’s time to get some help. We would love to find out if you have a subconscious block to love that is keeping you from putting yourself out there.

This would be revealed in a Your Love Imprint® Session with us. We are complex as human beings and what we often find that it’s what you may not know that is truly blocking you from the love you desire.

If one of your highest values is Freedom, and you have a belief that you would have to give up your freedom for a relationship love would never just “happen” for you. This part of you that holds the belief that you would have to sacrifice something you cherish would never put you in the situation to lose your freedom.

The first step is always to identify the love strategies that you have on the subconscious level that are blocking your ability to create the love you want. For a small investment we can quickly do this identification process with you in a private Your Love Imprint® Session.

During this session we will help identify your unique system for love that includes your limiting beliefs, your mental/emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies for giving and receiving love. Understanding this is a key step to breaking your old patterns.

If you would like to join us for a Your Love Imprint® Session then click here.

We are here to be your guides to love.

Love and Abundance,