Not being able to keep your hands off each other can certainly leave you feeling breathless. Just the thought of seeing him again has those [...]
What about the spark of attraction?
02 / 02 / 2018
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I read the Feb 29 newsletter and it resonated with me. I completely related to the women who asked the question and I am doing the same thing…going out with men for many dates because I like them but don’t feel the chemistry, but I still have a question. I am attracted to not only non-committal men, but to mean, moody and nasty men.
My father was mean, mood and nasty. He yelled at me and called me names my entire life up until about three years before he died. Those are the same type of men I have chemistry with.
My last boyfriend was mean, moody and often said hurtful things to me. I felt like a mere convenience and rarely stood up for myself. I broke up with him a year ago but am still hoping he’ll beg me back. We had such good chemistry and he was so into me the first year, when I wasn’t so available because my daughter was still in high school and living with me. Once she went to college, I guess I became too available for him and I didn’t stand up for myself. I was such a doormat… I so regret that. I have two issues here: How do I stop beating myself up for being his doormat (seeing him on all my friends Facebook doesn’t help)?
My main question is how do I change my Love Imprint for mean, non-committal men. Men that I really don’t enjoy spending time with but have this incredible chemistry with. Can I change who I have the spark of attraction with?
We are happy that our newsletter has you thinking differently about love and relationships – that is really our mission!
Happy to see that you are recognizing your patterns and strategies to feel loved. This shows how you are in your own way of having what you want.
The truth about how to transform Your Love Imprint® is that you cannot do this on your own. You cannot come out of your childhood home and suddenly think that reading a few books are going to change how you create love and who you have the spark of attraction with.
You shared a lot about your father, yet not a word about your mother. She will have played a role in Your Love Imprint whether or not she was in your life or not.
Your Love Imprint® is the name we have given to the system in your subconscious mind that is made up of your limiting beliefs, your mental/emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love. It’s the setting on your “GPS For Love.”
Right now you are attracted to mean, non-committal men because they are familiar to you. You survived your childhood and so your subconscious wants to bring you more of the same because it knows you will stay alive.
What you have not experienced is what it’s like to be loved by a supportive nurturing man who cherishes and values you.
You cannot think your way out of where you are to where you want to be. What is required is a TRANSFORMATION.
That transformation happens overtime with consistent, concentrated effort. It may not be comfortable, it may not be convenient, and ultimately it will allow you to experience the love that you DESIRE rather than the one that is FAMILIAR.
Orna grew up in a home filled with emotional and physical abuse. She stumbled through every kind of self-help, personal-growth, love, dating, forgiveness… you name it workshop – she tried it! Most only gave information, and as helpful as that is, not much changed…
Most of these programs focus on the final stage, what we call “The Creation Phase” where you draw in your man. What good is that if what you draw in doesn’t last? Or is more of the same?
We work with our clients in three phases to ensure their success for long-lasting, soul-satisfying love and that is why we offer only coaching packages, or longer term courses, because if we promised you a “magic pill” that would be a lie.
So our question for you is this: How committed are you to change? How badly do you want to transform Your Love Imprint so you can get out of your own way to have the love that is truly your birthright?
If you want to connect with us to determine Your Love Imprint® then apply for a session with us to do just that. We’ll not only give you the specific block that’s kept you stuck, we’ll share with you ways that you can work with us to transform it – permanently!
Apply now for a Your Love Imprint® Session with us by clicking here: www.YourLoveImprint.com
You do not have to stay stuck and struggle in love for your whole life. We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.