This week’s question comes from Lisa:

“Dear Orna and Matthew,

I hope you can help me. My ex wants to get back together with me. We’ve been broken up for 3 months and I’ve been focusing on myself, on my own healing. I’m starting to feel really good about myself. And that’s the problem. He has noticed the changes I’m making and we’ve been getting along really well lately. I’m so confused. How do I know what to do? I still love him and I feel encouraged by the way we’ve been getting along. Should I get back together with him? How do I know he won’t hurt me again?

Thank you for your time.”

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for reaching out to us for guidance. The first question to ask yourself is this: Is this man, just as he is today, my ideal mate?

It’s easy when we have a history with someone to be sucked into old patterns, and often when we know someone else’s story we can see what they are capable of, their potential. Who this man is capable of being is not what you get in relationship – you get who he is TODAY.

You mention that you’ve changed, and that the two of you have been getting along well…but there is no mention of changes in him. When people part ways, and the relationship ends there has to be an effort on both parties to create a new dynamic.

We often say, “Stop twisting into a pretzel for love,” the changes we’re talking about are not put on for show, they must be real changes. It sounds like you’re taking good care of you and he’s noticed, so the best advice we can give you is to continue the path you’ve been on these past three months and see if he has elevated to the level you are at. Make no excuses for him, be completely honest and truthful with yourself about who he is being, and never sacrifice YOU!

If he ended it, then the burden of proof (so to speak) is on him to show you that things will be different. Don’t rush to an answer. It is very important to take your time with this decision.

Sit in the question and be realistic about who he is, can he fulfill your needs, can you trust him? The answer will reveal itself to you as long as you give yourself quiet time so you hear it.

The real key is knowing whether or not this man right for you in the long term. If you choose a man who is a values match with you then the two of you will be able to overcome any challenges and obstacles together.

Being able to identify the “right” man is what we teach in our online program Your Soulmate Blueprint®. Your Soulmate Blueprint guides you to discover what you truly value in your intimate relationships and gives you the tools to identify a soulmate match.

  • You’ll dig deep into what really drives you in relationship, giving you the ability to know without a doubt who is a perfect match for you!
  • You’ll gain a new level of confidence you never knew was possible, and that’s going to amplify your radiance and attract your soulmate to you faster than ever!
  • You’ll increase your ability to receive love, which in turn will inspire him to want to give you more and more.
  • And so much more! This is one of our most comprehensive transformational programs, and we know you’ll be blown away at the results (and the results come fast too!).

You can read more about Your Soulmate Blueprint® here.

We hope this helps!  Keep us posted on your progress and we are happy to be your guides in love.

Love and Abundance,

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