Losing Your Enthusiasm for Dating?
This week’s question comes from Therese:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
My enthusiasm is waning. Being a 58 year-old gal that sees the positive aspects of online dating is the sole thing that allows me to not give up hope. I have yet to meet or find any man that has any prospect of a solid relationship in my time that I have participated in online dating. This would be more than 5 years. The dating “gurus” continue to extoll that finding an eligible man is still possible. I yearn for a man that is decent, honest and interested in dating that would lead to a partnership in life.
Perhaps you can offer some guidance or words of encouragement?
We hear you – online dating can be frustrating. Many people lie about themselves, put up misleading pictures, and don’t really seem to be interested in a relationship.
It can seem like no matter how often you give online dating another chance, it just doesn’t work out.
We want you to consider something though before you just give up. Online dating sites are a tool that is available for you to get what you want – a committed relationship with your Beloved. Have you ever considered that you are using the tool incorrectly?
If you were using a hammer or a blender incorrectly, would you blame the tool and just give up trying to fix the cabinet or make a smoothie?
We are using this example because we hear from so many of our clients and readers about how frustrating online dating can be. And yet, as you say, “dating ‘gurus’ continue to extoll that finding an eligible man is still possible.”
Now we don’t consider ourselves dating gurus, but we do agree. Finding an eligible man is very possible. You just have to try a different strategy. We believe in the inside out approach.
What we mean by that is first look inward and see what you can and are willing to change and once you’ve done the work to change you’ll discover that you get different results in the world.
Our client Felicity lives in a small town in the south. She had a lot of resistance to online dating. After she transformed her Love Imprint, she fell in love with the second man she met online. They are now married and raising a baby boy together.
Another client of ours Dianne had met plenty of men online and none of them worked out. She embraced our Date to Discover process and is now exclusively dating a man who makes her feel cherished and safe. She is making requests and watching him step up and reveal himself to be the kind of man she truly desires.
You say you want a man who is decent, honest, and interested in a relationship. That seems like a straight forward list. We want you to ask yourself a question – are you settling for what you hope you can get or would this kind of man fulfill you?
The universe will not support us in just getting enough. Have you ever met someone who was satisfied with having just enough to get by? The universe supports you when you reach outside of your comfort zone and really ask for what you want. Do you feel brave enough to ask for your true heart’s desire? Jump and the net will appear.
Maybe you need some help in learning how to use your tool of online dating. We guide people into transforming their Love Imprint so that they can create what they really want. Our program The Science of Creating Love guides you to release the past, communicate authentically, and bring in your Beloved.
We would love to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,
About the authors
Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches and prolific writers about love. Finding love, keeping love, healing from heartbreak, bringing in your beloved and more. They have been published on MSN, Yahoo!, YourTango, Redbook, and have been featured guest experts on BRAVO’s THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER with Patti Stanger, and as guests with Esther Perel speaking about love and intimacy.