This week’s dating question comes from JT: 

Hi Orna and Matthew, 

To my delight, I have already been doing all the things you mention in your trainings to bring in the “One.” Here’s my issue though and I would really appreciate some concrete instruction of what to do about it. My heart is still stuck on my ex husband!   

Tragic I know. I’m a capable, strong, open, generous, beautiful 52-year old woman, but this man is still on my mind, daily. I am ready for new love but something keeps pulling me back.  

He used my heart as a punching bag (toward the end of our 22 years). I could list dozens of reasons that he is bad for me, but I still love him. It’s not logical, but the heart wants what the heart wants. He left me 4 years ago and we rarely see each other as he lives 1,000 miles away. Everything you will probably tell me is things that I coach other women about. I’m better than this so how I can I finally move past this man? Your next training should be called “Stuck On A Schmuck.” 

Thanks for any guidance you can give me.

— 

Dating Advice for Women

Hi JT,

Thank you for your question and we appreciate that your brain knows what it knows, and yet you are still stuck. We selected your question to answer because this where talk therapy or any kind of cognitive coaching will only take your so far.

The truth is that there is absolutely nothing we can say to change this situation for you.

The part of you that needs to release your ex-husband doesn’t speak English, or French, or Swahili. So speaking to your conscious mind in any language will not change a darn thing.

The part of you that is drawn to your ex has to do with what your subconscious mind identifies as “love.” It’s what love looks like, smells like, taste like, etc. to that part of you that is looking to heal the wounds from your childhood.

We call this a Love Imprint Match™.  Your brain knows that this person can only bring you misery and heartache, and yet you cannot get him out of your mind and heart.

We have both been exactly where you are! Having walked this path ourselves and shown the way to our thousands of clients all around the globe has made us experts in releasing the charge on the man who is wrong for you, so you can move forward to create soul-satisfying, long-lasting love with someone new.

There is a catch…

In order to release your ex you will have to do a few things:

  1. You have to really want to release your ex.
  2. You will have to commit to doing some inner work to release the charge you currently have on him.
  3. You have to be willing to step into the unknown.

We are creatures of habit and we were designed that way in order to survive. This is why events that bring up negative emotions are charged and the good times just don’t seem to last.

Scientists who study happiness in the brain describe it this way: Experiences that leave us feeling bad are stuck like Velcro in the brain, whereas the ones that have us feeling good slide off our mind like Teflon.

Your Love Imprint® is the system running in your subconscious mind that is comprised of your limiting beliefs, mental/emotional patterns, and behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love.

It’s the little girl inside of you – Little JT – that is so drawn to this man who you know as a grown woman is simply bad for you. Yet, you cannot make yourself stop thinking and dreaming about him.

There are a few steps that need to occur to release this charge and none of them can be done via email. What is required is your commitment over a short period of time to transform Your Love Imprint®.

Once you transform it, you will literally laugh at the thought of ever thinking he was the man for you!

The human brain is incredibly complex and you have set things up for yourself a certain way because it served you at one time. Little JT is somewhat obsessed with your ex-husband and she will need some time to fully and completely feel differently.

There is no “magic pill” – The Science Of Creating Love™ is something that occurs over time so that the changes are permanent.

Whether you are currently in a relationship trying to decide if you should stay or go, or you’re stone cold single this in-depth 7-module program contains our most powerful processes to create change on the subconscious level.

It’s like having us in your ear walking you through each step. Each module will be delivered to your in-box once a week, and you simply follow along with the audio program (transcript included) and the workbook.

Click here to learn more about The Science of Creating Love™.

 

Love and Abundance,

Signature O&M clear bg

P.S. This is a personal note from Orna:

JT, I was stuck on a married man for over 15 years of my life. I thought for all that time that he was my “One” – and there could be no other. I honestly felt hopeless and often times crazy. He brought me nothing but pain and misery. At the time I thought I had wasted the best years of my life pining over him. Now I know that I am living the best years of my life with Matthew. I hope you give us the chance to show you how to leave your ex in the past and move on to allow in your Beloved.