This week’s question comes from Helen: 

I’ve been listening to your interviews and appreciate them so much. Feel I am wiser for them.

My question is this: If a man I haven’t heard from in one month (he often backs off this long) still has not contacted me, does it constitute chasing to email him and say that the museum exhibit we talked about is over, but there is another one now I would be interested in seeing. (We have talked about the issue that his membership expired, but mine is still in effect and that he could go on my card.) 

I would also say I hope he is doing well. No more.

I feel he has hurt me by backing away for periods of time before, and I told him that I feel sad when we aren’t in touch much and when we don’t see each other much. Days later he asked me to meet for coffee and began emailing me once a week. Now that has stopped.

I think I would be inviting him to ask me to go, to take me to the exhibit, but I am not asking him out, right?

What do you think?”
 

Hi Helen,

A man’s actions tell you whether or not he is interested in pursuing a relationship with you. He will pursue you. He will call, text, email, etc., and ask you to go out with him.

Men also have an “efficiency gene” – meaning they will do just as much as they need to do to get what they want. Many men end up in a convenient relationship because a woman is willing to do the work.

Women reach out, make plans, and do all the work of following up and even take care of important details (like expired membership cards). As long as it is convenient and the man isn’t pursuing another woman, he will gladly let a woman take care of him and the “relationship.”

Stop taking care of this guy. Stop making it easy for him. If he wanted more from the relationship, he would do something about it. As long as you do all the work, he will do just enough to keep you from ending it.

Is this what you want? Is this what you’re willing to settle for?

We would guess that because you are reading this newsletter that you want more than what he is giving you. We would hope that you want to create a lasting, loving partnership that fulfills you on multiple levels. In order to do this, you have to break your old patterns and take responsibility for what you’ve created.

His behavior is telling you everything you need to know – he’s hot; he’s cold. If this is not acceptable to you, then stop allowing it to occur and move on.

We have found that many people desire a Partnership, however, they settle for a Relationship. Are you willing to draw out a relationship with this guy or do you want a man who will pursue you and adore you?

Most men are: What you see is what you get. If what you are getting is not what you want, simply close that door and look for a man who is capable of delivering what you want and need.

When the man who satisfies your needs and wants arrives, shower him with appreciation and kindness and he will continue to pursue and adore you. Until then, treat yourself the way you would like to be treated. Say, “No!” to everything you do not want, and “Yes” when every fiber of your being feels it a resounding YES!

If you are tired of trying to figure out what to do, and want some help to simply BE in relationship – you may want to consider scheduling a Your Love Imprint® session with us.

In a Your Love Imprint® session we can quickly diagnose exactly what blocks are keeping from the love that you want. This is the system in your subconscious mind that was put in place in your family of origin when you were a little girl. It is essentially your ‘GPS For Love’ and right now it’s programmed to bring you straight to the original wound again and again and again.

We would be honored to show you how you can break the cycle and transform Your Love Imprint® during your session time with us.Love and Abundance,

Signature O&M clear bg